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Europe had the largest total land degraded with 23% caused by deforestation and over-cultivationd


septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Oct 29, 2016   #1
The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s

The pie chart reveals information about four different types of factor that cause global land degradation in 1990. The tabel shows how much these factors influence three countries during the same period. Overall, the main factor that caused destruction of the land is over-grazing. Furthermore, Ocenia is a state where over-grazing causes a big impact of the land becomes less productive.

According to the chart, the percentage of land degradation which was caused by over-grazing reached 35% and it was followed by deforestration at 30%. Meanwhile, the number of over-cultivation and other factores have almost the same ratio with 28% and 27% respectivelly.

On the other hand, Europe had the largest total land degraded with 23% which was caused mainly by deforestration and over-cultivation, with 9,8% and 7,7% respectively. Ocenia had no impact with over-cultivation, but had deforestration problem with 1,7%. In contrast North America was the state that had less impact from land degradation with total land degraded only 5%. (161 words)




SarlindaDS_27 42 / 52 5  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
Hello... Good Morning Miss Septi :)
Let me tell you my opinions about your summary :)

Actually, I think your summary has been perfect ^_^ because you can success to present the data by clearly grouping and correctly comparison which easily to be understand :) I'm sorry if I can't give you some corrections in this time, due to I really enjoy your summary and I can't found your other mistakes in grammars, sentences structures or tenses uses :) Hmm..Just one, you have been typo in here "factores " and I'm sure you can correct it by yourself ..wkwkwkwk :D

So Keep Practice Miss, I hope you can do the best in your real test later :)
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Nov 2, 2016   #3
INTRODUCTION

*successfully paraphrased the question
*presented an overview, but did not cover all the main trends

Thetabel shows how much ...
... that caused destruction of the land is over-grazing. Furthermore, Ocenia is a state where over-grazing causes a big impact of the landbecomes less productive.[/i]

BODY PARAGRAPH

*presented information in some organisation
*less accurate complex sentences
*moderate lexical resources but adequate for the task


... and it was followed by deforestration at 30%.
... over-cultivation and other factoreshave almost the same ratio with 28% and 27% respectivelly.

On the other hand, Europe had the largest total land degraded with 23% which was caused mainly by deforestration and over-cultivation, ...
..., but had deforestration problem with 1,7%.


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