Hi everyone, this is my first time to write an essay after so many years. I'm practicing how to write a writing task 2 for IELTS exam. In my essay, I only used simple words to prevent unnecessary mistakes. I would really appreciate any comments, suggestions or corrections for this.
The Task Description goes like this:
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Why?
Education, like air, food and shelter is really essential to every individual. It builds and molds a person's being. People tend to spend more time at school than at home. Basically, going to school should be the top priority of every parents for their children. However, I believe that children should also have their quality time on play grounds because children only get to be young once in a lifetime.
Making peers is just one of the reasons why kids should spend their time playing. When a kid goes to a playground, he meets other kids with the same interests and that starts a new relationship called friendship wherein when in school, he only call his peers as "classmates". In every perspective, I think that friends are better than the latter.
Another reason is that playing helps create camaraderie. If a child can follow orders from a leader or be a leader himself without having conflicts with others, he tends to do it until he grows old. Learning how to mingle with other people and make a trusting relationship will help a child in a big way in his adulthood.
Lastly, going to a playground to play even for just a couple of hours makes a child become physically fit. As we all know, child's play involves running, jumping, leaping, walking, passing through holes, climbing, some screaming and a lot of laughing. These activities help a child build stronger muscles and bones by being active and also prevent him from obesity.
Therefore, I strongly believe that children should go and play rather than going to school to study at such a very young age. Every child has the right to enjoy his youth and make the most out of it.
The Task Description goes like this:
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which do you agree with? Why?
play instead of study
Education, like air, food and shelter is really essential to every individual. It builds and molds a person's being. People tend to spend more time at school than at home. Basically, going to school should be the top priority of every parents for their children. However, I believe that children should also have their quality time on play grounds because children only get to be young once in a lifetime.
Making peers is just one of the reasons why kids should spend their time playing. When a kid goes to a playground, he meets other kids with the same interests and that starts a new relationship called friendship wherein when in school, he only call his peers as "classmates". In every perspective, I think that friends are better than the latter.
Another reason is that playing helps create camaraderie. If a child can follow orders from a leader or be a leader himself without having conflicts with others, he tends to do it until he grows old. Learning how to mingle with other people and make a trusting relationship will help a child in a big way in his adulthood.
Lastly, going to a playground to play even for just a couple of hours makes a child become physically fit. As we all know, child's play involves running, jumping, leaping, walking, passing through holes, climbing, some screaming and a lot of laughing. These activities help a child build stronger muscles and bones by being active and also prevent him from obesity.
Therefore, I strongly believe that children should go and play rather than going to school to study at such a very young age. Every child has the right to enjoy his youth and make the most out of it.
