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The existence of electronic media can decrease the quality of relationship between people.


nida26 30 / 19 5  
Mar 28, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Personal relationships are really necessary for human life to keep in touch with another people. The development of technology, particularly electronic media, is increase rapidly nowadays, and it is as media to provide a communication among people. However, I strongly agree that the existence of electronic media brings a drawback on relationship between societies.

Electronic media is the best way for people to keep in touch with another people. These days, distance is not obstacle anymore for people to communication. The community is able to interact each other through sophisticated technology such as smart phone and laptop. For example, children who live separately with their parents are still able to know the news of their family and communicate each other by text messaging, phone, even internet. Although they are in different places, they can talk face-to-face with video call. There is no doubt that the advancement of electronic media can provide the communication between people. Nevertheless, I firmly agree that the development of this electronic media brings negative effects for people's lifestyle.

In this modern era, several people are become more individual and anti social than in the past. The society is too dependent on the technology, especially their private gadget. They tend to bring their smart phone every time and everywhere. For instance, there is a gathering event between family members. Truthfully, it is a quality time among the family, but sometime each member more focuses with their gadget than talk each other. Thus, it can affect the lack of communication between people.

To sum up, the advancement of electronic media provides the communication from one place to another place easily. Yet, I strongly agree that this can decrease the quality of relationship between people. Therefore, the people should use this electronic media effectively.

nabila05 8 / 12  
Apr 27, 2016   #2
Hi Nida, I would like to share some insights on your essay by adding a few remarks for the first 2 paragraphs of the essay.

- is increaseing rapidly nowadays
- on a relationship between
- for people to communicatione
- distance is not an obstacle
- such as smart phonesmartphone

There you have it, Nida. I hope the corrections shared above help you in your essay revision
Mimi07 9 / 15 2  
May 1, 2016   #3
Hi Nida, please allow me give you some suggestions

- touch with an otherspeople
- even the internet
- more individual >> tend to individual
- more focuses
tria25 12 / 19 4  
May 1, 2016   #4
hello nida, niceto read a good writing of yours. let me give you some suggestions.

1. you have to considered which one you want to use (media or medium).
media---> plural
medium---> singular

2. media is not a way/method/proces, yet it is a thing/tool.

3. another---> singular e.g. another person
other---> plural e.g. other people

4. to communication---> to communicate.

5. In this modern era, several people are become more individual and anti ...

passive voice has different pattern than active one.

hoppe it can be helpful for you.


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