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Expenses for mobile phones, domestic and global fixed-line, and services in America



someoneishere 3 / 4  
Feb 9, 2023   #1

phone expenditures and fixed-line services in 2001-2010



The provided line graph illustrates the anally average financial consumption of mobile phones, domestic and global fixed-line, and services in America from 2001 to 2012.
Overall, the significant rise in expenditure on the national landline, in contrast, witnessed the dramatic fall of the oversea landline. Especially, cell phone services cost a stable amount and remained the lowest.

In 2001, there was a contrasting trend of calling online, international fixed-line, and domestic permanent lines by US residents. The highest was the consumption of mobile phones at 700$, opposite the just 200$ above of the other services. For 5 years, Americans spent enormous money on the use of cell phones, while the expenditure trend of the nation decreased sharply and met the resemblance with mobile phones approximately at 500$ which was two and a third higher than the past amount of telephones. Also, there were unchanged financial American consumers throughout this period at 300$.

On the other hand, from 2006 to 2010, the average money for calling online services climbed considerably and reached its peak at more than 700$. US inhabitants these years prefer mobile telephones more than 1.5 times the landlines in their country with a percentage of about 400$. Finally, it is just a small growth of expenditure on global fixe-line in the US.

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.


  • IELTSWritingTask1.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Feb 10, 2023   #2
This is another example of an overwritten and impossible to complete within 20 minutes task 1 essay. the task only requires 175-200 words. There are more than 214 words here, with a repeated summary presentation at the end. Deleting that part, there are still 214 words. Too many for a task 1 essay, too short for a task 2 essay. Here lies the first problem of this report. Aim to write the correct number of words next time. That way you leave at least 5 minutes for you to review, revise, and edit your content.

The lack of content editing is quite evident with the existence of incorrectly spelled words (anally = anually) and unclearly structured reporting and analysis sentences. These are problems that would have been avoided had you focused less on word count, and more on proper writing skills.

Deductions will be applied to this essay across all scoring considerations. The biggest deductions will be in the C+Ce section, since several sentences are not only improperly presented, but also lacking in clear reference. The unclear referencing happened because of the lack of proper graph data in paragraphs to help with the standard reporting presentation.


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