Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the atmosphere.

Tram Le 1 / -  
May 24, 2023   #1

how people put atmosphere in danger?

Nowadays, the air is more polluted and people are finding the causes of this problem. This essay will look at some primary ways that people put our atmosphere in great danger and offer some possible solutions to tackle this phenomenon.

There are a number of reasons leading to the problem mentioned above. The main reason is overpopulation. People need their own car or motorbike to commute at ease, so that there is a marked increase in private vehicles. They release a huge amount of greenhouse gas emissions into the air. Another reason is industrialization. There are various plants built annually. The amount of exhaust fumes discharged raising dramatically. For instance, Vietnam is a developing country, there are a wide variety of investors establishing their new factory in Ho Chi Minh City. The sky here is much darker and dirty.

However, there are several solutions could be taken to mitigate this problem. Firstly, the government should organise some campaigns to encourage citizen to use public transport system such as: growing bus's quantity, declining ticket prices. Secondly, imposing regulations relating to waste management should be implemented as soon as possible. All factories will build the filtration system to reduce the hazardous fumes. Besides of that, every individual can help so solve this issue by planting more trees in the garden or surround areas. Finally, travelling by public transport is a better option for those working in urban city. This helps reduce not only air pollution but also traffic jam.

In reality, this obstacle is unlikely to tackle in short term. However, it is by no means insurmountable, there are various measures could be implemented to address its root causes.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,830 4781  
May 25, 2023   #2
Your prompt restatement is inaccurate as you immediately focused on air pollution when the instruction was asking you to present several ways that humans are polluting the environment. So you cannot focus on only 1 problem. You are expected to present 2 problems that are interconnected such as air pollution and the increasing lack of oxygen that people face. As for the solutions, you did not summarize what sort of solutions individuals and the government might take to fix the problem Therefore, your presentation is not accurate in terms of task accuracy.

You did not do a good job of discussing your reasoning paragraphs either. You only presented disconnected problems. You should have shown an interconnection between the problems through proper explanations in the paragraph. That means, you should only be presenting 2 reasons, with 3 sentences explaining it in the paragraph.

Home / Writing Feedback / Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the atmosphere.
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳