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External/ internal Reasons for School dropouts & possible measures ;IELTS



ash5005 10 / 16  
Dec 23, 2012   #1
Q: Many students do not finish school.Why does it happen and how can the problem be solved?

Students dropouts has become one of the prominent issues that many international communities facing today. Even though most students complete schools, it is conspicuous that many pupils quit schooling and indulge in many activities. In this essay i would like to list out the reasons as well as the possible measures of this woeful plight.

Firstly, the reasons for school dropouts can be discriminate as: external reasons as well as internal reasons.External reasons consist of family problems, poverty,taboo,influence of rituals etcetera. Some students can not complete their schooling because of their family problems such as broken homes.Lack of financial support for studies and taking care of family responsibilities also some crucial reasons for quiting the studies. Finally certain communities does not allow girl child to study and forcing to marry instead as part of their cultural practices.Certain Internal reasons such as psychological distress, lack of interest, bad habits and unhealthy peer group relationships are also instrumental in increasing students dropouts.

When it comes to some measures, firstly we can implement some awareness campaign about the need of education.Secondly government should initiate free education to some extend especially for backward classes.

Moreover, it is necessary to stringent the rules to completely prohibit the child labor as well as child marriage in order to reduce the ongoing school quits.Finally by making parents aware about the need of education can also reduce the surging school dropouts.

In conclusion, i would like to warn children that lack of education may lead them nowhere and it will be quite hard to get a job in future. so it is highly significant avoiding school dropouts.Lets hope that we can tackle this problem in order to the betterment of the coming generation.


dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 23, 2012   #2
Students dropouts has become

...dropouts have become/ dropout has become

Even though most students complete schools, it is conspicuous that many pupils quit schooling and indulge in many activities.

... this sentence has a problem with your logic; you say many complete schools and again they quit ... It's better if you re-phrase this line

Firstly, the reasons for school dropouts can be discriminate as: external reasons as well as internal reasons.

..."discriminate" means treating somebody unfairly because of prejudice. So, it is inappropriate to use here.
First, the reasons for school dropout can be categorized as external reasons and internal reasons.
joythblessy 86 / 266  
Dec 23, 2012   #3
Hai Monu...

good attempt...
some corrections..
dropouts can be discriminate as: external reasons as well as internal reasons===> discriminate..?
I feel classify/ categorize is better here..
dropouts can be discriminate as: external reasons as well as internal reasons==> dropouts can be classified as external as well as internal reasons
what about internal reasons..?

highly significant avoiding school dropouts===> highly significant to avoid school dropouts
Finally by making parents===> use some other alternative word,(in addition, besides)
Measures
; Midday meal programs
: Stipend for poor students
: Good infra structure and friendly atmosphere in school
: Concession in transport.

Tessy
christyzhongs 7 / 21  
Dec 25, 2012   #4
Hi, I think you can talk about the mesures in the same sequence as the resons you listed
external:
family problems-->government should initiate free education ...making parents aware about the need of education can also reduce the surging school dropouts.
Society problems-->it is necessary to stringent the rules to completely prohibit the child labor as well as child marriage in order to reduce the ongoing school quits

internal:
Certain Internal reasons -->some awareness campaign about the need of education & help children aware that lack of education may lead to unemployment in future


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