My favourite Vietnamese dish - broken rice

"Com tam"

Broken rice is the one of the best loved dishes in Viet Nam. It is a traditional dish in the south of Viet Nam. It is made by simple ingredients. It includes broken rice, pork chop, pork skin, stuffing pickle, fried egg... Broken rice is usually served with pork chop plus pork skin over broken rice and added cucumber, tomato, stuffing pickle with fish sauce. Its flavor is salty, sweet, sour, spicy... Many people tried and loved it too much. Broken rice is also called "Com tam". It is opened early morning and lately evening. In my opinion, it costs thirty-five thousands dong that is not expensive. It is so simple and delicious. That dish made me proud of Vietnamese food and I wish Vietnamese dishes can go around the world

@Linyu12
Hi there! Welcome to the forum. Hopefully, you appreciate what the forum entails, and that this feedback will somewhat be of help to your writing endeavors.

First and foremost, I appreciate the straightforward approach of your writing. I find that this manner of writing is strikingly effective when it comes to thesis statements.

To improve your writing, I think that you should focus more on crafting your essay with more details. For example, in that third sentence, try giving a briefing on what simple ingredients mean. You may say something along the lines of: "It is made by simple ingredients straight out of the fridge." Notice how this has more aesthetic appeal because you're introducing a more creative flair to the writing. Furthermore, try to omit repetitive lines that do not contribute anything new to the writing. For example, you've mentioned how tasteful and simple the dish is early on in the essay, therefore you could have omitted those lines from the second to the last sentence of the paragraph. Learn to prioritize when you can.

@Linyu12
I don't know which level/stage/grade you are writing this essay for but I find it too scanty and not detailed..
All the best