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Food; some parts of the world are suffering from lack of it, other complain about its quality

Samilijah 3 / 4  
Aug 8, 2015   #1
Dear all ,

Your help is appreciated . I dont know if my points are good or so . Pwease help

Food ! One of human beings favourite obsessions and vital basic need for survival. At first, everyone has an abundance to enjoy, but when time goes, people start to industrialise: building factories, houses, apartments, shops, etc. All of this requires land ! as a result, fewer land had been used for agriculture! To make matters worse, the population is rising quickly, which means food availability is the biggest hazard. By 2050, experts have estimated the global population to exceed by a billion ! By then, it would be hard to tackle the situation.

Yet, people in wealthier countries have done nothing. Citizens in the rich north have a tendency to waste food! How ridiculous! Food that are unfinished or even still good has to be thrown away. But these people are questioned:

" It is not in good quality! "
"It is too much! "
" It is tasteless! "

These are the most common answers given. People take things for granted, they are selfish. For example, you can often see people in buffet restaurants placing food in their plates which would be as tall as them! In the end, when they cannot finish it, the garbage bins outside would be filled with those foods!

Change ! Improve your habits! Eat Less! Eating lesser or just at suitable amounts can bring one many beneficial means. One can have a healthier lifestyle, one can save money of buying food. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Beneficial !

"What can be done ?" you may ask.

Simple! Start from yourselves, share food with those who doesn't have enough, this can bring hope to these people, a packet of fried noodles doesn't cost much! Does it? Restaurants can also play their part in sharing leftovers which are still edible to the homeless, poor, the disabled, this is also the case with buffet restaurants! Finally, the government can send dry food items such as rice, canned food to people in rural areas. For example Africa.

Be the Change ! Make the world a better place!

hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Aug 8, 2015   #2
Hi. Samilijah
I will give you some suggestions
first. the question is not clear in the title of this essay
second there must be introduction and conclusion
in the last paragraph it must be start with for example in conclusion, to sum up in summary etc,
in the introduction you should express your opinion by saying for example in my opinion,I believe
lea - / 1 1  
Aug 8, 2015   #3
Hi Samilijah. I would recommend only using an exclamation mark when you really want to make an important point. It minimizes the effectiveness when you use them too often. Have a look at your spacing (take out the space before the exclamation mark), and watch your use of capitals eg Eat Less should be Eat less.

Your first two sentences are good but I am not sure I agree with your statement that At first, everyone has an abundance to enjoy, - you may need to expand on that to make your meaning clearer. I would make your essay more factual with less emotion. Your points about developed nations, food wastage and solutions are relevant but expand on them and make them factual.

You need to have a few paragraphs on Food; some parts of the world are suffering from lack of it, and then wrap it all up in a conclusion.

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