Foreign Language and Mathematics - the subjects with the least disparity between girls and boys

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

The proportion of students passing high school competency based on subject and gender between 2010 and 2011 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that Foreign Language and Mathematics were the subjects having the least gap between the girls and boys while the majority of subjects was dominantly passed by girls except for Geography.

First of all, there was a small gap between men and women, which is almost 1 percent for both Mathematics and Foreign Language, and the percentage for both was nearly the same at around 47 percent and 49 percent respectively. The same trend was seen in Physics and History as well. The former got 37 percent for women with around 2 percent gap higher while the latter experienced 25 percent with around 3 percent gap.

The highest gap was seen on Chemistry having a half of women percentage, followed by Computer Science getting 56.3 percent for girls and 42.1 percent for boys. In contrast, the Geography subject was passed dominantly by boys having around 30 percent while the women got one in ten lower than men.

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At first, the introduction was fine. I can see that it is well-structured and well-developed. Yet, it is unfortunate when it comes to your body paragraphs. Some grammatical flaws ruined the whole essay. This make me unsure whether this essay can reach 6 or not. It might reach 5.5 due to a clear overview that you've written. However, the detailed descriptions for your grammatical issues would be described below.

- ... and women, which iswas almost 1 percent (...) same at around 47 percent and 49 percent respectively. (redundant "percent")
- ... around 2 percent gap higher while the latter (...) 3 percent gap.(gap = repetitive)

- The highest gap was seen on Chemistry...
- ... dominantly by boys having aroundat approximately(having = repetitive(see above)) 30 percent while the women got one in ten ... (I think "got" can be replaced by "obtained/gained/achieved/reached")