IELTS writing task 2 about gap year out of formal education

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Nowadays, high school students in many nations are encouraged to take a gap year to travel or work before pursuing a higher educational degree. This trend could be a double-edged sword, and this essay will analyze the pros and cons of this issue.

To begin with, a gap year is not a common and popular norm in many society because it's pretty risky. People typically take a year off to do things differently from usual for particular purposes, such as studying new knowledge or applying for scholarships. However, without a careful and thorough plan, it could be time-wasting. Besides, people may find it challenging returning to school after one year of doing what they love without restrictions and principles. This result can negatively affect their educational progress.

Apart from many disadvantages, a gap year also has positive impacts. Firstly, this is a valuable chance for youngsters to enhance their social knowledge and skills, which rarely be taught at school. Secondly, students can utilize this time to explore the passion they decide to pursue in university. Research conducted at Tsinghua university in China pointed out that 73% of university students lost interest in their chosen major after a short time and later started a career different from what they spent four years studying. A year for emerging into a real environment helps young people evaluate their own choice for certainty, therefore decreasing the liability of wasting time studying a major that leads them to regret later.

In conclusion, having a year out of formal education before entering university may be a risky decision; however, there are undeniable advantages for youngsters' life and educational choices.

Please remember that the main score of this essay will be based on 2 important preliminary aspects that can be found in the prompt restatement and writer's opinion paragraph. These factors are:

1. An accurate paraphrasing of the original topic and its discussion basis. This helps the examiner assess the writer's English comprehension skills.
2. A correct personal opinion statement composed of 2 sentences (advantage and disadvantage) that directs the examiner towards a clear understanding of the writer's opinion as based on his personal knowledge and experience requirement.

So what is missing in this presentation? Though not clearly stated in the instructions, it is important that the writer use a wide grammar range that showcases his personal opinion via first person pronoun use. What it does not need, is the reference to the university research which is not a requirement for scoring well in a task 2 essay. Yes, the information can be made up, but it must reference personal knowledge in the first person form. It must never be presented as a researched or general statement. That is what the TA and GRA scoring basis is all about. Proper grammar usage and knowledge of English writing rules.

The essay should indicate that what is being provided is the writer's insight by starting the thesis statement with "I believe that the advantage is... while the disadvantage is..." Then every paragraph thereafter must indicate the writer's insight with anchors like "I have personally heard that this decision is not popular because..." Then indicate the opposite with "From my personal experience, my gap year taught me that..." The latter reference prevents the need to mention researched information or data.

The conclusion is too short. It does not follow the required 40 word / 2 sentence concluding presentation. The recap is not properly offered to the examiner.