Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'Gender and jobs relate to gender' - Equal numbers of male and female students



Truong Nguyen 1 / -  
Apr 6, 2014   #1
Gender and jobs relate to gender have been becoming controversial issues. Some people suggest that universities should receive the even amount of boys and girls in any subject whereas many people tend to put their ideas in contrast. In my opinion, I personally believe that educationalists should concentrate more on qualifications of students than on the balance in sexual rate.

First of all, educational qualifications would be declined if the universities attempted to balance between males and females in any subject. In fact, universities obviously have to be responsible for creating qualified students who can work effectively after graduating. In order to do this, the colleges are definitely required to enroll excellent students. If they desire to keep a balance in gender, they will be able to have to eliminate qualitative female students instead of taking in unqualified male ones, and vice versa. Therefore, expecting the same gender rate would be cause of the declination of educational standards.

In addition, each subject in the universities tends to focus on specific knowledge and after graduating students definitely have to do particular jobs. Some fields would be more suitable for men, while other ones would be done better by women. For instance, becoming a police could be more appropriate to male students. Indeed, virtually the universities obviously enroll the number of boys much more than the amount of girls because most polices require good health to work in different situations. However, this is completely opposite of Nursery Teacher. Consequently, if the colleges requested a rate of 50 percent man and 50 percent woman, this could be trigger unpredictable difficulties for graduates after leaving their schools.

In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my viewpoints that gender balance would be necessary in some areas. Nevertheless, as long as the universities solely expect to balance in gender, this is absolutely responsible for decreasing the qualifications of education as well as creating many obstacles for students. Hence, concentrating on the management of educational qualifications would be a right orientation in order to create qualitative students-the masters of nation.

Shokhusrav 10 / 26  
Apr 6, 2014   #2
becoming a police

a police-officer is better

subject whereas many people

subject, whereas many people
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 6, 2014   #3
Gender and jobs relate to gender have been becoming controversial issues

This is a pretty confusing statement. It does not deliver any particular idea. You should open your essay with a strong sentence that has the ability to hook the reader throughout your essay. This line should be short, meaningful, relevant to your topic and catchy too :)

For example;
Gender discrimination can be found in many aspects of life.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Apr 12, 2014   #4
if the colleges requested a rate of 50 percent man and 50 percent woman, this could be trigger unpredictable difficulties for graduates after leaving their schools.

I can't even catch what you were trying to say. Is that you mean?
The equal proportion of girls to boys in class will show a fifty-fifty chance of graduation

the amount of girls

number of girls | amount of uncountable noun

Well, you should include the full prompt with your essay so that we can provide you with more meaningful comments.
It is always better you include the purpose of your writing (IELTS, TOEFL, GRE etc.) in the title.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'Gender and jobs relate to gender' - Equal numbers of male and female students
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳