Here is my essay.. I hope that I can receive comments from you! Thanks.
IELTS Task 2 about Genetic engineering
The question is:
Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, genetic engineering plays an important role in society. People have different views about the influence of genetic engineering.
One of the advantages of genetic engineering is the high production efficiency. With the help of technology, the amount of food supply increases. For instance, vegetables that are fragile and difficult to take care of become easier to grow. Therefore, in a constant period, people can plant more than decades before. Furthermore, when food production keeps getting higher, the price declines gradually. This makes food become more affordable, especially for the people who are living in poor countries. Since famine is a serious worldwide problem currently, genetic engineering gives opportunities for those people suffering from hunger to buy food at a lower price, which helps them to have better lives.
On the other hand, the danger of genetic engineering is still unknown. Although
genetically modified food is widespread in many countries, it is impossible to assure that this kind of food has no bad effects on health. This means that perhaps it has a long-term influence on damaging people's bodies, but we still have not discovered it yet. Moreover, genetic engineering also reduces the diversity of food. Specifically, genetically modified food is always attractive, which is artificial. When farmers grow plants in a natural way, though crops are not as perfect as genetically modified food, they have different shapes and colors naturally. Food diversity should be appreciated because they make the world colorful and special.
In my opinion, while genetic engineering helps people to produce food more efficiently and alleviate the famine problem, it may also destroy our health and the world.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Your approach to the discussion is totally wrong. You need to accomplish the following first:
1. Give a proper prompt restatement + discussion instructions:
Ex. With the advent of genetic engineering, a discussion regarding its pros and cons has become evident. Some people believe that the rise of this science will allow for additional benefits to the way man exists. While some fear that such engineering feats could place the existence of man in peril. It is important that these arguments be given consideration. On my part, I wish to consider both sides of the discussion so that I can develop a personal point of view based on an understanding of the discussion points.
2. Properly use the group pronouns in reference to a third person / group pronoun discussion format:
Ex. Food scientists and people who support genetic engineering do so based on one reason, it is beneficial to man's way of life. They believe that....
* This must be done twice. Once for each public point of view
3. Properly develop a first person discussion paragraph in support of one of the two points of view.
Ex. These considerations have led me to believe that ...
4. Develop a proper concluding summary / restatement. This is completed by restating the topic for discussion, the two reasons, and your personal opinion. All in individual sentences.
The discussion points you present are alright but a faulty due to your unfamiliarity with the discussion format. You should also avoid using any words that could connote indecisiveness on your part (perhaps). Basically, you just need to develop a better presentation format based on the prompt format.
