IELTS Writing Task 2: More good news on the media

Topic:

The media should include more stories which report good news.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that the social media should spare more coverage for good news. Although I agree with the need for more frequent reports of positive news, negative news remains an indispensable part of our daily news report because of the following points.

It is true that positive news brings its positive vibe to the audiences. Firstly, news about development certainly cheers the audiences up. For example, a report on a new medicine available for curing a fatal disease or a short story of a poor boy receiving help from the community brightens people's mood, in other words make their day. In addition, more goods news instead of the exaggeration of bad news brought to citizens by tabloids or nameless journalists is more beneficial to the society. Pieces of delightful news boost the trust and hope of humanity on good deeds existing around.

However, the less cheerful news holds a vital position in news reports. In cases of emergencies such as a natural disaster, news conveyed immediately to local residents prevents grave danger and reduces casualties. Moreover, sometimes bad news overtakes good news. It is impossible for reporters to avoid airing, as their responsibilities are to transmit all types of news to the audiences. When shocking news hits the headlines, it is pointless to cover it up. All the same truths are to be revealed to citizens. Unnecessary terrible consequences might result from the attempt to hide bad news from social media.

In conclusion, the increase in the amount of positive news leaves beneficial effects on the development of modern citizens. On the other hand, the opposite side of news is to be updated with enough coverage for the same reasons.

hi @nimbus2k2
overall, i think your essay is good but there are some small mistakes. In the second paragraph, you wrote FIRSTLY but didnt write SECONDLY.
This sentence MOREOVER, SOMETIMES BAD NEWS OVERTAKES GOOD NEWS seems incomplete and unclear to me.
And your conclusion should be about your own opinion since the topic asks about your opinion.

@nimbus2k2
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your essay.

First and foremost, try to compose with more intention. Look at your introductory paragraph. The first sentence does not quite have an impact, considering that it fails to showcase the overall tone and message that you're bound to deliver in the latter portions of your text.

Furthermore, try to make concise your sentences. Say, for instance, there are better ways to phrase the succeeding lines. You can opt to omit words that are unnecessary for building the message - this will help you have a more put-together approach to writing.

I also think that your paragraphs tend to be too packed. Although, this might be a personal preference - not necessarily a required prerequisite.

Best of luck as always.

@linhchin @Maria Thanks! I appreciate your advice.