Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


A good sports person or musician are born or can be taught?



Veranda 5 / 13  
Aug 17, 2019   #1

the biggest chance of being successful at sport or music



TOPIC: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

MY ESSAY:
Many people claim that success in sport or music results from innate abilities while others argue people can be trained to excel at those fields. In my opinion, every child can learn to be successful.

On the one hand, there are those who believe that children are presented with special aptitudes when they are born. This statement proves to be right especially in terms of music. Children who read music keys or compose songs from a surprisingly young age are no longer rare. Mozart, for example, could create his own masterpiece at the age of five when other children still learn how to read and write. The same can also be seen in sport. My friend, for instance, has a strong instinct that allows him to become an extraordinary goal keeper of my school's football team.

On the other hand, practice plays an important role in determining future achievements in both sport and music industries. Research shows that the more time children spend on training, the better performance they show. Take the book "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell as an example. He claims that 10000 hours of hard work can make people become expertised in any skills. Another example is the case of Ed Sheeran, a well - known singer. At first, he admitted to have a terrible voice but he manages to sing beautifully now after years of diligent practice.

In conclusion, although having a knack for music or sport can have a powerful impact on success, I believe all children are given the same opportunity to achieve highly in those areas.

deladenoo 1 / 3  
Aug 17, 2019   #2
Hello..I like what I read. I would be a lot happier if you added some numbers to it(statistics)
jocelyne001 9 / 21  
Aug 18, 2019   #3
Hello~
It is a good essay, you gave lots of examples in it, but I think if you can make more explanations about connection between examples and your arguments, it would be better. Also, you could use more techniques in your writing.

Hope these suggestions are helpful !
OP Veranda 5 / 13  
Aug 18, 2019   #4
@deladenoo
Thank you for your comment


Home / Writing Feedback / A good sports person or musician are born or can be taught?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳