IELTS: government should focus on investment both of arts and public service; equally important

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Financial support from government plays an important role for developing country. Many arguments reveal that sponsorship from government should be invested for public service. Whereas, other arguments claim that donate their money for arts is unimportant or useless. However, I personaly argue that stakeholders should allocate their money for both of arts and public services. My inclination is argued further.

Admittedly, there are many reasons why investment in arts does not throw out the money. Firtsly, Many people appreciate arts such as music and theater. For example, That be seen clearly that most of concert musics are packed audience. This condition also we can see in every performing theater. People do not think about ticket's price entrance to get best performance. Secondly, differ with statement that investment in arts is wasting money, art is one of fields which can reach money instead. Concert music, for example, can earn a lot of money from ticket's price because audience should pay expensive for live concert. Finally, Arts act as magnet for tourists. Countries which have great quality of music and best thetaer's performing can make toutist interest with that countries. As a result, many tourist visit that countries, it can increase the income countries.

The other argue that public service should become the main focus investment for government. Standart quality of developing country can be measured by quality of service areas. Transportation and public space are assential facilities, and the most popular than can be used by public. Most of people use public transportatin to make easy when traveling and visiting other areas. Beside that, Majority of public really enjoy to visit the public area such as parks, malls, and conventions. So, government should improve to control the quality of public service for reason confortable. Like arts, great quality of public service can catch the tourist to visit that countries, and automatically this is as measurement that countries concern with quality and service.

Ultimately, government should focus on investment both of arts and public service, because that are equally important. Both of them like an actors and actrees that become magnets for tourist and local public. Having good quality in arts and public service can increase the standart quality of development.(*)

This is an interesting topic and I can tell that you feel strongly about the issue by the way you wrote this paper. I have some suggestions regarding how to further improve it below. I hope my suggestions are acceptable to you :-)

- The government plays an important role in developing a country. That is why there is an argument as to how the government should invest more in either arts or public service. Each side believes their cause to be more important than the other. Which is why the claims as to which is more important between the two has escalated into a hot debate. Personally, I believe the government should invest equally in both because of specific reasons.

- It is important for the government to invest in the arts such as music and theater. Without performance venues, music and other public arts would become a dying art. Right now, tickets to professional performances cost too much. So much that ordinary folk cannot afford it. With a government subsidy, people from all walks of life will be able to enjoy the best shows the arts have to offer. Arts is also an investment that gives back in reference to the interest the government can make on the price of the tickets. With arts being a strong magnet for tourists, it can definitely help increase a country's earnings in a year.

- Public service on the other hand, is something that the government is expected to support using publicly collected taxes. the development of a country is measured by the amount of public service that is offered to its people. From transportation to government hospitals, the government always has a budget allocated for those needs every year. It is the arts that does not have assured funding on a yearly basis.Let's face it, both the arts and public service are important to the growth of the nation and the ability of the people to evolve socially. Therefore, both sides are equally important and should be equally funded.


- For the conclusion, you need to create a better conclusion that summarizes your prompt, thesis, and facts. I suggest you revise this part.

Thank you so much for reading my essay and correcting it...
That is very useful for me to improve my skill...
I need your advice and suggestion for the next...

My Gratitude :)