Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Should the government put a tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily?



xinhgaisomot 1 / 1  
Nov 20, 2021   #1

junk food tax



In today's busy world, having meals at junk food stores seems to be a conventional eating habit for many people who do not have enough time to enjoy meals. However, it is undeniable that consuming too much fast food causes a significant detriment to our health. In my perspective, the authorities should put a high tax on fast food in order to boost individuals' healthy eating habits.

The primary reason for this is that unhealthy substances are expected to be harmful to people's systems if ingested in large quantities. In other words, fast food is believed to be the main reason leading to obesity due to a large amount of oil and sugar in fast-prepared products. Moreover, people, especially nowadays teenagers, are prone to diabetes, high blood pressure and some psychological issues such as distress or feeling starving all the time. Recent research has shown that people in the USA, which is claimed to consume the largest amount of junk food in the world, are getting overweight six times faster than other nations. American Scientists also suggest that individuals should maintain a healthy diet to ameliorate health issues. What can be seen from this is that health problems will get more acute if people eat fast food too often.

Another reason is that the tax coming from the fast food industry could be used to build the state health care systems for the community. To be more specific, the government holds a notion that it is the most effective way to utilize the lucrative income from the tax because the more state hospitals are constructed, the more people have opportunities to enjoy free treatment. In various European countries, a lot of health care systems are built by using money from fast food buyers to create a quality chance for impoverished citizens. Nevertheless, I also claim that the high tax from unwholesome substances could be paid for not only state hospitals but also charity purposes. It is inferred from the passage that tax should be collected to use for advantageous purposes to the community.

To sum up, it is a should for the government to put a high tax on the fast food industry in order to inspire a wellbeing lifestyle and use it for positive reasons. It is recommended that mankind should have a healthy diet by eating more veggies and stop ingesting harmful junk food.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Nov 21, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement is nowhere near the actual topic of the original prompt. I understand that the author was trying to be creative in his rephrasing but, he failed to do so. Rather than delivering a prompt topic accurate restatement, the thoughts presented highlight the writers reasoning opinion instead. Something that would have added to the score if it had been presented in the 2nd or 3rd paragraph instead. Kudos on your creative way of agreeing with the increased tax stance though. It was a unique and will receive a positive scoring consideration.

The health issue concern in the first reasoning paragraph is only considering the medical consideration. There needs to be a connecting mention of tares and its relevance to the health discussion. Afterall, tax is the foundation of the discussion. All reasons need to circle back to taxes.

I was reviewing the prompt and there was no inference as to how the tax was to be spent upon collection. That is a severe prompt misdirection that will carry a heavy score deduction. Avoid such errors by reviewing the original discussion instruction, and make sure you stick to it.
OP xinhgaisomot 1 / 1  
Nov 23, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thanks for your comment! I am really appreciated it ^^


Home / Writing Feedback / Should the government put a tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳