Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES



arashzh 1 / -  
May 12, 2017   #1
SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES IN THE SAME WAY THAT REGULATES THE DRUG, ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO INDUSTRIES

The idea that the government should set restrict rules on fast food industries like any others such as drug, alcohol and tobacco has been controversial among people since people find out that these foods are harmful for humans. While few people find these set of rules beneficial for both individual and society others consider the idea impractical.

Many hold opinion that fast foods should be regulated by government for instance, they should be restricted to be open in specific periods of time during day near schools or not to be allowed to have branches there, this led to changing of students eating habit fundamentally and they would be forced to have healthy diet.

But on the other hand, too much government interference has been unpopular among people when it comes to their personal life and freedom of choice. The best approach which government are able to use is to running public health campaign explaining the danger of eating too much fast food or by TV advertisements showing long-term consequences of unhealthy diets. Despite that these solutions have some drawbacks, for instance, people could ignore the government advices or the effectiveness of such campaign is hard to measure but I think these are the steps which government are able to take to controlling eating habits.

In contrast, The idea which fast food industries should be regulated by government , Could be resulted in both positive and negative effects but the disadvantage of this idea outweigh the advantages.in my view this solution is rather impractical for healthy nutritious and other solution which mentioned above should be found.

Ahmadham 4 / 11  
May 13, 2017   #2
HI...when analyzing your essay, I have to say it is a nightmare for you. Despite less grammatical errors, your ability to response the prompt is far from what is expected, affecting you to have a low score in task achievement, which is the most vital one. If we look at carefully, actually this essay is an agree and disagree type. This actually asks you whether to the rule should be implemented or not, although you are still capable of explaining both positions. No mistakes you made is in the introductory paragraph as your position is clear enough. However, when it comes to the second and third body paragraph, then problems come across. The idea you should explore in the second body paragraph should be about the reason why the rules is beneficial , the explanation of what you mean and related example. Likewise, this format also should be addressed in the third body paragraph without explaining about some measures which should be taken to deal with problem. Writing this will make yours out of topic as no instruction is given in the prompt. Lastly, writing a phrase indicating a conclusion is more appropriate instead of writing (in contrast) in the last paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / SHOULD GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRIES
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳