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IELTS - governments or individuals should take care of environment? 'equal role'


duo008 6 / 39 5  
Apr 3, 2014   #1
Some people belivev individual are more imporant in taking care of environment, others thinks governments should be major responsible to it. discuss and give you opinion.

The issue of whether the government should take the more responsibility to protect environment than the individuals is of the great concerns to many people. In my opinion, the individuals are also play indispensable role in environmental protection, as we are all living in the same world.

It is true that governments have great obligation to govern the environment. For one thing, the major pollutions are normally created by big enterprise and factories. It is only the governments have the power or ability to restrict or force them to control pollutions in a reasonable measurement. For another, governments have a plenty of funding, resources and ability to cope with serious environmental incidents. For instance, 2 years ago, Japan experience a significant nuclear accident, it is only the government has techniques and powers to stop and prevent public away from the nuclear radiation.

However, the individuals' impact on the environments should not be neglected, because our behaviors are seriously impact on environments. For example, if all the people in Australia save 1 liter drinking water a day, then we can save almost 20 million liters water everyday to help 7 million people who live in water deficit environmental areas, as per person only need 3 liters water for live. In addition to this, if we are often taking public transport to go to work instead of driving private car, it not only improves the traffic conditions in cities, but also reduces the carbon dioxide emission and saving energy for world.

In conclusion, although it is the government duty to improve or protect our living environment, I believe everyone on the earth does enjoy the equal role. Therefore, the individual and the government are both play vital role in environmental protection.
kikiliyik 12 / 35 2  
Apr 4, 2014   #2
" For one thing, the major pollution are normally" S+v AGREEMENT
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Apr 4, 2014   #3
Hi,kikiliyik
I didn't understand what you want to said, could you explain more detail about it?
THX
gggooniel 2 / 2  
Apr 4, 2014   #4
The issue of whether the government should take the main responsibilityfor protecting an environment rather than an individual is of the great concerns?? ( what it means?) to public welfare.

I suppose too many mistakes u did in this essay..no time to post all errors.
ammus1 10 / 29  
Apr 4, 2014   #5
I think you have to pay attention for sentence construction and spellings (litre) .try to read good essays as much you can.2 years age,what did you mean this?
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 4, 2014   #6
The environmental issues have long been regarded around the world

This is pretty weak as a hook. Long been regarded for what? Your hook should be more meaningful and catchy. If you do not get a good idea for a hook as you begin to write your essay,start with the background (introduce the issue to the reader) It's alright and I don't think you'd lose lots of marks for not having a hook. Also, if you finish your essay earlier, you can always go back and insert one :D
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Apr 5, 2014   #7
thanks for you corrections. gggooniel
thanks for you advise. ammus1

thank you for your suggestions dumi,
I think I will get more practice, hope you can help check them!
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Apr 8, 2014   #8
I wrote a new one:

The issue of whether the government should take the more responsibility to protect environment than the individuals is of the great concerns to many people. In my opinion, the individuals are also play indispensable role in environmental protection, as we are all living in the same world.

It is true that governments have great obligation to govern the environment. For one thing, the major pollutions are normally created by big enterprise and factories. It is only the governments have the power or ability to restrict or force them to control pollutions in a reasonable measurement. For another, governments have a plenty of funding, resources and ability to cope with serious environmental incidents. For instance, 2 years ago, Japan experience a significant nuclear accident, it is only the government has techniques and powers to stop and prevent public away from the nuclear radiation.

However, the individuals' impact on the environments should not be neglected, because our behaviors are seriously impact on environments. For example, if all the people in Australia save 1 liter drinking water a day, then we can save almost 20 million liters water everyday to help 7 million people who live in water deficit environmental areas, as per person only need 3 liters water for live. In addition to this, if we are often taking public transport to go to work instead of driving private car, it not only improves the traffic conditions in cities, but also reduces the carbon dioxide emission and saving energy for world.

In conclusion, although it is the government duty to improve or protect our living environment, I believe everyone on the earth does enjoy the equal role. Therefore, the individual and the government are both play vital role in environmental protection.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 9, 2014   #9
The issue of whether the government should take the more responsibility to protect environment than the individuals is of the great concerns to many people. In my opinion, the individuals areshould also play indispensablean important role in environmental protection, as we are all living in the same world.

You need to pay attention to grammar a lot :)
OP duo008 6 / 39 5  
Apr 9, 2014   #10
thanks, I will check it again! :D


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