Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


IELTS Task 2: Graduates should be advised to do a second degree


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Feb 27, 2014   #1
Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, the number of idleness increase significantly in the development and developing countries. Also, many people who leave from university with a degree are quite difficult to get a great job. However, some people think that continuing in the second degree is the best solution, while I tend to assume it depends on our circumstances.

In fact, finance is the first consideration when people want to continue in the second degree. Sadly, most of universities charge high tuition fees for post graduate course. Because of that some students who do not have enough money they cannot take second degree. In my university, students have to spend more than $10,000 for post graduate course, so that is not little money to earn in the sort time with hard work. In my eyes, it is not recommended solution that graduates should continue into second degree, particularly if they do not have any eager to study more.

Furthermore, a second degree with expensive fees is needed for students who have clear main purpose in the future and still have an enthusiasm for studying further. Patients and passions are the second consideration to establish good career. Fresh graduates should start at the bottom and work their way up the career ladder. This is what Chairul Tanjung, a success entrepreneur, did and it gave him experience, and understanding of his chosen field.

Standing in contrast, for some people who have quite likely purpose to get a great profession or to pursue a research based on career need a second degree. If graduates are affordable to pay the course fees without dept, it will be better than they force themselves to occupy a job which does not interest them. Apparently, it will be advisable for graduates to carry on with their studies, especially in the current technology, economic and politic.

In conclusion, a degree will be important it depends on people needs. So, graduates have to realize that a second degree is going to be useful when they involve in the particular job as a requirement.
mariasultana 7 / 13  
Feb 27, 2014   #2
the number of idleness increase significantly in the development and developing countries.
I think there is little coherence problem.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 4, 2014   #3
In fact, financefinancing studies is the first consideration when people want to continue in the second degree. Sadly, most of universities charge high tuition fees for post graduate courses . Because of that some students who do not have enough money they cannot takepursue a second degree. In my university, students have to spend more than $10,000 for any post graduate course, so thatwhich is not little money to earn in the sorta short time witheven working very hard work . In my eyes, it is not a recommended solution that graduates should continue into second degree, particularly if they do not have any eager to study more.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 4, 2014   #4
Patients and passions

.... Patients? Do you mean Patience ?

I feel your first and second body para are too close ideas. The second one lacks clarity too. First be sure about the reasons and then pen them down :)

Fresh graduates should start atfromthe bottoma scratch and work their way up the career ladder.

Overall, your body paragraphs need lots of improvement in terms of ideas. It seems you revolve around the same reason :(


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Graduates should be advised to do a second degree
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳