Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

I grow up in Jiquilpan Michoacán; My New Life


oscar cazares 2 / 4  
Oct 2, 2013   #1
I grow up in Jiquilpan Michoacán, where life can be difficult. In my surrounding I will see faces inspiring me to success. Long roads full of trees and dirt would make things impossible to accomplish, but my grandpa always told me "to be able to accomplished what you want in life you have to earned it" he was that person who has motivated me to be a better person. Also, he gave me an example if you do not study live would be challenging and if you study you will in a better life. For example, he is a veterinary and if he does not want to go see an animal he can stay at his house and relax for the rest of the day. But if you decided to work, it would be very hard because you have to work on the fields. Also, you will be getting paid less and if you have a degree you get paid more and not work for long hours.

As young as I was, I knew I wanted my future to be different. No because I did not like the lifestyle I used to have, I just wanted to succeed on life and be able to go to a university. But before turning twelve my world had a dramatic change. I moved from the place a grew up into the city of La Quinta, because my father was by himself working hard to support us but then, he decided to bring all of us to California to have a better life, the weather was very different and we could not go any places as we use to in Mexico. They say to me that life was going to be easier, but I could not see the positive of their words. Ever since I started school in the United States I knew that life was going to be very challenging. My very last days in elementary school and middle school were the worst. My teacher was never satisfied with my quality of my work, but as hard as I tried it was going to be a challenge. No knowing English was my biggest fear, I felt useless. My days instead of being bright and positive were dark and full of negativity and disappointed. I felt like giving up and I even considered the idea of going back to Mexico. My dad always say that next year he was going to take us back to Mexico, but as years fly threw that they never came. Before going to sleep I would set my thought together, some tears would roll down my cheeks for feeling lost. All I wanted was to discover and start on my future path and studying strong was my only opinion.

On my early teenage years there was so many wrong decisions I could have made young kids were being negatively influenced to try drugs and join gangs at a young age. I was brave enough to stay away from them because my parents always taught me the good and the bad life. I knew it was not going to be easy but I wanted to stay positive and more because I wanted to make my parents proud. I had different goals in my mind, but I needed to work hard to be able to accomplish what I wanted to become.

I learned from other peoples mistakes to never give up on my education and dreams. Keeping my goals and aspirations was what I wanted to accomplish. My parents have always been strict and supportive. I have told by my parents that some of their family has say to them that they just brought us to the United States to have a bad life or work. But their expectations and beliefs make me motivated me on school and to make the right decisions and I want to prove my uncle that he is wrong and not let my parents down. My new lifestyle was challenge, but a motivation at the same time. It was the best example to guide me through on the new adventures and knowledge I was looking for. I have great parents that support me and as well as my community shape by ideas and inspiration for my future. I have learned that "every day wasted is another day you will never get back"

OP oscar cazares 2 / 4  
Oct 2, 2013   #2
can you help me correct my essay on grammar and what i need to have to be able to make sense?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 2, 2013   #3
I grow up in Jiquilpan Michoacán, where lifecan be difficult.

... "can be difficult" gives a pretty vague feeling. I wish you change this;
I grew up in Jiquilpan Michoacán, where life was not easy.

In my surrounding I will see faces inspiring me to success.

However, I was lucky to have inspiring souls around me who always drove me forward.

Long roads full of trees and dirt would make things impossible to accomplish, but my grandpa always told me "to be able to accomplished what you want in life you have to earned it" he was that person who has motivated me to be a better person.

Trees sound positive and dirt sounds negative. So the reader gets confused. If you want to talk about the negativity don't have positives in the bunch :)

Long dusty roads, poor transportation and other limited facilities made me feel frustrated, yet my grandpa's smile together with his great advice motivated me to do my best to accomplish what I wanted in life.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 11, 2013   #5
I learned from other peoples mistakes to never give up on my education and dreams.

I have learned from the mistakes of other people and I am determined not to give up my education and dreams for any reason.
Keeping my goals and aspirations was what I wanted to accomplish... this does not deliver anything logical.... also sounds like a repetitive idea.

My parents have always been strict and supportive.

My parents have always been guiding me and though strict at times they have been very supportive.


Home / Writing Feedback / I grow up in Jiquilpan Michoacán; My New Life