what is happiness?
"Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?"
It is true that the number of people would like to be happy in their life. In my opinion the definition of happiness is difficult, and it can have a range of factors with regard to achieving happiness.
Happiness is quite difficult to describe because it is quite abstract, meaning that is not the same for everyone. For example, some peope who feel happy simply have something for meals, or a safe place, whereas others, health and families are vitally important meaning that people that they have loving familes, or have free time to talke to their families, friends. At the same time, a range of feelings from pleasure to satisfaction may be also related to the description of happiness. Therefore, many people feel happy in various of ways.
In any case, it is difficult to give correctly the definition of happiness, but some people believe that there are some significant elements in achieving happiness. Firstly, some basic needs play an important role in their life before they want to have better things such as salary, job's satisfaction or fame,... For example, if people do not have a safe house to live and food to eat, they will not be happy. Secondy, people should have strong connections to family and friends. This is because, it is great time to share experiences or even stories in life together. Thanks to this, people become more pleasure and excitement. Others factors could set goals for individual or ambitions to achieve successfully.
In conlusion, happiness is difficult to define because it depends on each invididual person. And I believe that these factors I mentioned above that is vitally important in achieving goals.
Hi! This is a great topic:) Here is a few suggestions from a first time reader
... factors with regard to achieving happiness - Since you already mentioned happiness previously, this feels like an unnecessary add on that makes the sentence look busy and a bit meaningless, I recommend rewriting in to highlight your point.
"Happiness is quite ... it is quite abstract" -two "quites" in a sentence
" For example, some people who feel happy ... they have loving familes, or have free time totalk to their families, friends" - I would divide this into 2 sentences. reiterate the fact that for some, physical needs like shelter and substance is already the peak of happiness because they do not have anything greater (if that's what you mean). And for others, a sense of belonging with their family of communication is what makes them happy; because they do not need to worry about finding for a shelter for the night, they are trying to fulfil their psychological needs.
side note: check out the maslows hierarchy of needs, if this is a research type of paragraph, the model will tell you a lot about how happiness is perceived by people of different life situations.
"This is because, ... Thanks to this, ... Others factors could ..." - read it over again, and rewrite a bit.
It looks like you only really mentioned one or 2 factors.
-everyone perceives happiness differently
-you can't define happiness.
I know this probably has a a word count but I would explore deeper the issue because right now it seems as if you are repeating our point every sentence and it doesn't have a structure.
maybe begin with describing why it is different for everyone, like since everyone is at a different stage in the hierarchy for example and there are physical and psychological needs that have be met and therefor you will never reach the "happiness" you seek without the other.
then you can go into why people strive to be happy and why it is so difficult to pin point what it is exactly even for yourself. do you think you are happy? what does it mean for you? do you think some people are not happy because they have a wrong sense of what happiness is supposed to look like and they will never reach that point in life because they truly do not understand if that is the happiness they want? --- sorry I feel like this is off topic
So yes, everyone is different. they all have a goal and a final destination of "happy" town. but everyones map to the town is different. Happiness right now is viewed from a collective perspective. You know you log into your insta account and you see people on private islands with families that love them and they are financially stable. So everybody who likes that photo of them collectively think, "yesss, this is happiness, I am not going to happy until I reach that". But that's kind of wrong dont you think? Happiness should be an individual subject. --- I think this is a good point to include as well. A single state of happiness can't be universal. It is very personal and that is why it is so hard to define because there are 7 billion of us ... 7 billion types of happiness that we haven't even discovered yet ourselves
Sorry for rumbling on, just wanted to give you some ideas:)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15171
4859 Your prompt paraphrase is incorrect. You have changed the discussion topic and therefore, created a wrong topic statement for the essay. Please note:
OT: Happiness is considered very important in life.
YT: It is true that the number of people would like to be happy in their life
As you can see, you have turned in a totally different discussion topic from the original. Therefore, you will be given a score based on a presentation totally unrelated to the original prompt. There will be a partial deduction in this aspect because your restatement of the questions were correct although incomplete as you do not indicate a direct response to each question presented.
In the second paragraph, limit your example to just one. You do not need several examples because you should be focused on defining happiness or the difficulty of defining it based on one example or 2 connected examples. For example, you could have indicated and better explained how having meals can bring happiness to a person, but isn't the same as the happiness of having a safe place to call home. You should be able to contrast 2 related, but different reasons in the presentation. In this presentation, there are only examples, but not explanation with regards to the cohesiveness of the examples provided. Showing the different types of happiness is not the same as explaining how these types of happiness are different. It is the difference in the meaning of these happiness that makes the word difficult to define.
In the third paragraph, you are using a comma immediately before the ellipses, almost all of the exam takers these days make this common mistake. You cannot use 2 punctuation marks simultaneously. You can only use one then use words then use another punctuation mark. The punctuation marks are used to separate statements, therefore, you cannot use 2 one after the other because there is no statement to separate.
Thanks for your adivce on my writing .