TOEFL Essay: "Haste makes waste" do you agree with the statement or not ?

The topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement "haste makes waste" use specific reasons and examples.
The answer:

This saying is stating that every fast and not well thought decision is a wasted one. In my opinion, this statement is completely true, for these few reasons:

For one thing, making a quick decision means that it's not very thought out, and that it hasn't been checked from all its aspects. Consequently, leading to a probable bad end result. For example: if someone decided to quit his job without really thinking about the alternative, or a plan B, he could end up being unemployed, because of his speedy decision.

In addition, making a rushed decision could also mean that the person is missing out on a potential opportunity .In another word, if this person had waited and thought his decision through he wouldn't have missed out on the job opening in the same firm, but at a different position. Hence, he wouldn't have been unemployed.

Not to mention, that hasty decisions, not only goes to waste, but also, could affect the entire life of the person. To put it differently, is that after this person has quit his job and became unemployed. He can no longer pay his bills nor buy what he needs for his everyday needs, thus, his life had taken a turn to the worst.

As can be seen from this, is that a hurried decision is almost never a good one. That's why one should always study his decision carefully and slowly, to ensure that the decision that the person is making is the best for him.

Hi LAB328,

I've just read through your essay and found it rather difficult in the beginning. The essay is quite short and sometimes the structure is not quite clear. I would recommend to use paragraphs because that makes the reading a lot easier.

Let's go through your essay. At the very beginning you use


, for the reader, however, it is not obvious what you are talking about. It would be better if you would include the saying in your statement. For example: "The saying 'haste makes waste' is stating that..."


In this statement I would change the word choice: "not very thought through" and "hasn't been looked at from all perspectives".


There is something missing in this sentence. There is no subject, so you have to refer to the preceding sentence somehow. For example: "Consequently, this is leading to a bad result" - omit the "end" here.


I think you mean "in other words". Furthermore, the last part of the sentence is ambigious. What do you mean by "but at a different position"? The job opening? I think, I would just leave this out.


Decisions is plural, so you have to use "go" instead of "goes".


You can't start over with "is" in this case. "To put it differently, after quitting his job this person became unemployed." In fact, "to put it differently" means to say the same thing in other words. I don't think that's the case here so you should probably use a different phrase.

Generally I think, you have some good points, Just make sure that you develop your arguments a little further and that you have a clear introduction and conclusion. I like the fact that you sticked to your first example throughout the essay. I only had the feeling that you could express the single arguments a little stronger and again: the conclusion and introduction don't seem very clear.

I hope this helps,

RedFire

.... RedFire is right. You need to assume that reader does not know anything about your prompt. So, you need to introduce the topic to the reader first and then state your opinion. RedFire's given you a real good feed back!

Thank you so much for your help RedFire & dumi, that was very helpful, and thank you for the links too.