IELTS Writing Task 2 - Health and Life Habits

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

With new technological advances achieved every day, it is an indisputable fact that health care services have been available to many host countries. However, some people abused this revolution for such unhealthy lifestyles as unbalanced diet and sedentary lifestyle. While many people do not need to use medical services, others constantly need medication due to their poorly daily lives. In this essay, I strongly hold the view that people who are responsible for their illnesses should have to contribute towards the cost of their health care.

First of all, it is important to highlight the fact that ignorance is not an excuse. The media has placed the entire world and all of the information in it at our fingertips. Information about health and fitness is widely available so everyone should know consuming fast food, cigarettes, and alcohol to excess results in serious health problems. In addition to this, there is a vast amount of help services which people can consult for advice on improving their health, ranging from doctors to sports trainers and dieticians. Therefore, I would contend that people who continue to live unhealthy lifestyles despite advice from doctors or health professionals should not receive free or reduced health care services.

Further and even more importantly, though, the development of medical treatment goes hand in hand with the increase of payment so it is inequitable to let people who do not care about their health require treatment with the same charges as others. I think the most obvious solution is to raise the cost of health care to make people more aware of staying fit. By doing this, it does not only narrow down the medical burden but also saves more money for other patients, whose treatment is compulsory but costly.

By way of conclusion, it is undeniable that the number of people whose lifestyles unhealthy will continue to rise as the pace of life increases. Given the medical problems associated with this trend, I believe that making them contribute towards the cost of treatment for self-inflicted diseases would be warranted.

The prompt paraphrase contains information not included in the original presentation which resulted in an over writing in your presentation. The actual discussions offer 2 reasons at any given point in the presentation, but suffer in explanation development. simply writing 300+ words will not assure you of a proper and high scoringpresentation. It will however , assure you of sectional scoring deductions.

There is a lack of proper discussion idea outlining on your part, within the 40 minute allowance which led to idea presentations in paragraphs, but very little in the way of idea development and explanation. Writing qualities that, when not present in the essay, result in lower C&C plus GRA scores. For example, "By way of conclusion " is incorrect grammar. The proper reference in this presentation is "To conclude this discussion...". By the way,that is a memorized placeholder phrase that I cannot advise you to use in the essay. Memorized phrases will lower your TA score. In this case,the TA and GRA scores will both receive deductions due to the use of a memorized phrase and incorrect grammar.

The word " think" is unacceptable. Your TA score is based on the clarity of your opinion. The aforementioned word indicates a doubt rather than conviction in your opinion. Avoid words of uncertainty so as not to incur additional TA deductions.

There is a lack of proofreading and editing in the presentation that will lower each scoring aspect of the test. It is more important to focus on delivering the scoring requirements than just a long unchecked and non-corrected essay.