It'll be easier for every one to make some comments if you state the purpose
Yes, that is true. It seems that Namon is struggling to improve her/his English, though, so let's help make corrections:
First of all, they are an ordinary people,
This does not make sense.
One day, he found his right knee swollen and painful while playing
basketball. The doctor who checked him told him that he
had cancer. He was 22 years old while (Itthi ???) was born in Thailand. He was a singer. When he was 27 years old, he sang at night club until he met his manger who asked him to record
his album. After that he felt an ache in his belly, and then he went to the hospital. The doctor who checked him told him that he had cancer (at last period What does this mean? Does it mean he was in the final stages of cancer and that he was going to die?). He was 49 years old.
I can't wait to see you improve your writing by participating here at EssayForum. :-)