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High-income and average-income people are more likely to consume hamburgers - IELTS


tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 26, 2014   #1
The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart shows the changes in weekly spending by Britons on three types of the fast food: Hamburger, Fish & Chips and Pizza, while the line graph presents the fast-food consumption from 1970 to 1990.

Turning to the data, high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers, presented over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week. However, Fish & Chips come second in all options for average-income people, while high-income people tend to choose Pizza for the second alternative fast food. In the case of low-income people, the expenditure on Pizza as favorable food is 8%.

As seen, Hamburgers and Pizza rose steadily between 1970 and 1980, while Fish & Chips declined slightly from 300 to nearly 200 grammes. While, Hamburger had again risen to the same figure as Fish & Chips in 1970, Pizza had approximately 100 grammes. From 1985 onwards, both Hamburgers and Fish & Chips rose steadily over twice as high as Pizza recording 270 grammes. The figure of Fish & Chips was just smaller than Pizza, which of Fish & Chips had approximately 230 grammes in 1990.

Clearly, there are 3 types of fast food that Britons are keen on eating in the early 21th century. The last two types of fast food were a notable rise, but Fish & Chips were the reserve over 20 years.



niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jan 26, 2014   #2
Turning to the data, high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers, presented over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week.

Based on the data , instead of turning to the data

However, Fish & Chips comes second..

Turning to the data, high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers, presented over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week.

Based on the data, it is presented that high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers with over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jan 26, 2014   #3
However, Fish & Chips come second in all options for average-income people, while high-income people tend to choose Pizza for the second alternative fast food. In the case of low-income people, the expenditure on Pizza as favorable food is 8%.

On the other hand, Fish & Chips comes second as a choice of both average and low-income people, while Pizza is chosen by people with high income as their second alternative fast food.
OP tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 26, 2014   #4
Could you tell me why should be passive sentences, please?

Based on the data, it is presented that high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers with over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week.

Thanks for your corection, but i consider about the time in the real IELTS which is given only 20 minutes. So, i only mention the main point which is the important information. I think that your suggestion is having the same meaning with my ordinary sentence. Anyway again thank you.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jan 27, 2014   #5
Could you tell me why should be passive sentences, please?

Hi, active sentences are USUALLY preferred to be used, but in that case, you have to consider one importance of passive sentences and that is to HIGHLIGHT the word which has a higher value than other elements in the sentence.

Turning to the data, high-income and average-income people are more likely to consume Hamburgers, presented over forty-two and thirty-two pence per week. However, Fish & Chips come second in all options for average-income people, while high-income people tend to choose Pizza for the second alternative fast food. In the case of low-income people, the expenditure on Pizza as favorable food is 8%.

This paragraph contains several grammatical issues. "Turning the data" is quite informal, thus it would be better off to use "based on the data", for it is more stronger. Moreover,the highlighted words are considered to be redundant. The italic part is considered to be misplaced modifier. Try to place it nearer to the one it modifies. :))


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