Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


History or Science and Technology - what ought to be the major priorities in schools' curriculums?



quocan 1 / -  
Sep 28, 2021   #1
IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people say History is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.



Essay: There is a debate whether history or some subjects like science and technology ought to be the major priorities in schools' curriculums. Despite the fact that history lessons convey many meaningful values to students, I strongly argue that science and computer subjects are more advantageous for pupils and society in the future.

To begin with, historical events are part of human society. In some countries, by learning about the country's war-time, students could understand all the harshness and losses that their ancestors had to suffer in the past. Thereby, they would value the peaceful lifetime they are enjoying now. Furthermore, history lessons not only teach students about wars or political events but also provide them the overall view in a variety of aspects of life such as the economy or industrial revolution. For example, as school children study about the history of oil, they would have a deep insight into oil's original source and how oil became an important part in many today's industries. This knowledge may help students gain basic understanding about things and relate them to social issues in modern life.

On the other hand, science and technology help students keep pace with cutting-edge innovations due to the ceaseless developments of the new era. Therefore, having skills to use advanced devices may create more chances for employment in different fields. Moreover, teaching scientific knowledge also acts as driving force to improve the human resource for coping with natural problems like pollution elimination or alternative energy explorations. Besides, the study of Biology and applied science has helped humans endure and outlive some fatal diseases and viruses. The COVID 19 pandemic is a clear example for this as thousands of citizens have been given vaccine doses and proper treatments with the aid of medical researches and advanced technologies.

To sum up, it is true that the study of history reminds us of our humble origin, I believe that science and technology are the key that lead to the future of human beings.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15512  
Sep 29, 2021   #2
The summary overview is incomplete. It must restate both public opinions before you present your personal point of view. That is the task accuracy requirement and delivering only a partial representation means a failed topic restatement. You do not want to recieve a less than passing score in this section since it will be difficult to recover from it.

The reasoning discussions do not properly support the writers opinion. The contradictory opinion should be presented based on why it has public support, then, the writer should explain why this support is incorrect. The focus should be on the strength of the writers opinion when compared to other, alternate reasons. The first reasoning paragraph lacks that debate presentation.


Home / Writing Feedback / History or Science and Technology - what ought to be the major priorities in schools' curriculums?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳