University education should be free for everyone, regardless of income
To what extend do you agree to this statement?
Education is an indispensable part of everyone's life and it plays a vital role in the process of growing as an individual. From my point of view, the idea of imposing university education at no charge from a government has the potential to become a very big step towards the rapid growth of a society.
Operating an education system with no tuition free will make sure that nobody will lose the right of studying just because they lack the material ability to foot the bill in college. Talented students from the poor families could have great chances to show their strong will and determination to study and prosper under free courses and programs. At the end of the day, those students will contribute back to the country and hence, the growth of that nation will be significantly increased under their operation.
Another advantage of having education free is nationwide happiness. Stress and anxiety in the middle-class society might be caused by an individual's inability to afford university fees. These are invisibly building up the fear of having children in those who are in the middle class due to financial burden in education. This obviously implies that citizens of wealthy countries do not feel able to provide their future offspring prosper education.
In conclusion, even though it would be a huge expense on the state's budget when offering education free, advantages are valuable. After several years, such improvement would bring fruits of a happy, a intelligent nation promises to be created.
This is my own opinion only, and it could be incorrect.
(1) "Could" →"Can" (2nd sentence, 2nd paragraph) because you're writing in present tense mainly.
(2) Remove "The" (same sentence as (1)) because of the plural noun.
(3) "A intelligent" →"Intelligent" (final sentence of the final paragraph) because you already written "a" before "happy", it is excessive here.
@Thao Vo
You showed that you can use English to express fairly complex idea in your essay. However, I recommend you learn more about how to write a good essay. Your introduction is too vague. You did not paraphrase the topic and state clearly your position. Remember that you are writing in English, not Vietnamese. As Vietnamese students, we were taught at school that we have to always include background information before introducing the topic and it is ok to let the reader guest what we means. However, when writing in western language, we have to go straight to the point and state our opinion clearly and directly. You have to think outside the box a little bit.
Secondly, you shouldn't use vocabulary that you do not understand the meaning. For example, " material ability" is not an accurate phrase. I recommend you use more simple language to improve your accuracy. Otherwise, you will lose your vocabulary mark. Only use fancy words when you know exactly what they means.
I hope that you will improve your writing.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15386 While your essay shows that you support a solid opinion on this essay along the lines of totally agreeing with university education being free for everyone. You failed to properly represent that in the prompt rephrasing. You forgot to respond directly to the question at the end, thus giving a direct opinion in the process, which would have given more credence to the single opinion discussion opinion that you presented in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. The essay would have lost points for not clearly presenting an opinion to support. You presented an opinion but your position, in the paraphrase section, was unclear. That makes me so sad.
You could have already passed the test if you had just clearly presented an opinion at the start of the essay. Another reason why this essay would not have passed, is because your conclusion created a different discussion presentation from the original topic. The conclusion, should have just rephrased the total discussion from the topic, opinion, and reasons presented. That is missing so you will lose further points for that. The essay itself met the word count, but failed to deliver on several discussion and formatting requirements. That is why I always say it isn't about the word count, it is about the accuracy of the essay in relation to scoring requirements and considerations. Meeting those criteria will be what helps you pass the test.