IES: the state pay all students tuition fees, or students should pay themselves?

Please help me with this essay. Could you give your opinion about task response, grammar, lexical resources and cohesion. Which band could this essay get?. thank you very much!

People have different views about whether university students should pay all their tuition fees or it would be better for them to have access to free education funded by the government. Personally, I believe that students should receive subsidies from the state to pay for a part of their fee, and pay themselves the rest of this cost.

To begin with, there are good reasons why the state should financially support college students in terms of paying their fee partly. It is true that the education cost is extremely expensive. Students have to pay a great deal of money for various things such as accommodation, books and CDs which are crucial for their studies. The point is that the majority of students can not afford these things, and even some of students from poor families may not continue studying due to lack of money. It would also be a complete waste if talented students dropped out of school as they were unable to pay their study fees. Thus, it is tremendously important for the government to give financial support to students from states.

Nevertheless, I would argue that university students should also pay a small amount of money for their tuition fee. First, the national budget of any nation is limited. If the government subsidize free higher education, they have to spend less on other fields such as heathcare or military which are obviously vital to the development of a country. Furthermore, it is undeniably noticeable that if all students can gain free schooling, they will not appreciate their study any more. Students tend to focus more on their paperwork when they pay for tuition fee. For example, Vietnamese students have to spend 500000 VND each month on education fee, so that everybody need to put an emphasis on studying to avoid wasting that money.

In conclusion, I personally contend that university students should receive fund from the state , and simultaneously pay for their own tuition fee.

1. It is always good to include the full prompt with your essay and write the purpose of your writing (IELTS, TOEFL, GRE etc.) in the title so that we can provide you with more meaningful comments

2. You'd better conclude the intro with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly. That helps you take the reader in your desired direction.
3. I suggest you to leave one space every time you open a new paragraph. If the layout is difficult to read, which is let's say: no spaces between paragraphs, then readers immediately know your writing needs more work to read.

Here I want to share


you need to put a verb



... 500 thousand or five-hundred thousand

hopefully it helps

thank you so much :). any mistakes in my essay?

you should attach the full prompt because as long as i know that ielts has many kinds of prompts and every prompt has to difine with spesific answer. There are agree-disagree, advantages-disadvantages and so on.

i think to be good writer we have to pay attention with all aspects such articles (a, an, the)

Topic: students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

College education is a business- and any good business knows to offer good incentives to its clients.
And I would argue that the students gain education not just for themselves but rather for the society..here's a quote from a recent commencement speech I heard that might put things in context for you: "Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others."