Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8

Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience (GRE topic)

dudtkd85 1 / 3  
Jun 2, 2016   #1
Your kind comments will help a poor Korean start his study in US

Title: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience (GRE topic)

The imagination is regarded as more important than any other factors in contemporary society. A great number of companies and businessmen are trying to recruit imaginative talents in order to increase business profitability. However, in some parts, the experience is more valuable, which is especially true in the academic fields. In this field, scholars' long and deep research experiences make themselves be specialized.

Admittedly, the imagination plays a significant role as a key factor to developing creative techniques and imaginative products. In this fast-paced world, innovative and fresh ideas become more influential in creating a new profitable business model. This is why new and creative products are able to excite consumers to purchase them. According to the US STEM education report 2012, technicians who work in the STEM fields, receive two times higher salaries than workers in non-STEM fields. As it is widely known that the curriculum for STEM education highly focused on developing students' imagination, workers who have high-technologies based on creativity are valued in the industry after graduating from STEM schools. Therefore, learning imagination is the key to being successful in contemporary society.

However, in some instances, the experience is more valuable. To be specific, in the academic fields, experience is the most worthy assets to achieving success. In order to reach success in academic fields, analyzing related data for years and having insight based on sufficient research experiences are essentially required. This is because there are so many existing point of views and research results about a topic that they should have farsighted perspectives through long period of research experiences. For example, the Nobel Prize Committee is likely to award a Nobel Prize in Economics to economists who have experienced long-term research studies. Although young scholars are more challenging and innovative, the committee lays emphasis on estimating old scholars' deep and wide insight. Therefore, in this case, it seems that the experience is a more worthy factor.

All in all, both imagination and experience are essential in each areas. The imagination is helpful in creating a new and innovative products in the industry, while the experience is necessary to being successful in academic fields.
Nahid87 12 / 17 7  
Jun 2, 2016   #2
Hey a poor Korean who is start his study in US:)! ( just kidding)
My suggestions are as follows:

As it is widely known that the curriculum for STEM education highly focused(focuses) on developing students'

well-done poor dudthk85! your essay are so clear and actually,I cannot find any mistakes, So you are so so lucky guy:)
good luck:)
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 2, 2016   #3
Hi Sang, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, may you find this website helpful as well as useful to your writing projects. We aim to provide you with the most accurate and credible feedback with the hope of creating an even stronger essay and for you to get better if not the best at this craft.

Now, as a beginner in exercising the English language, I must say, your a natural, you were able to come up with an even better essay than most English speakers. As for most of native English speakers, they tend to be confident in their writing and this can sometimes lead to an essay that possesses the idea and what the prompt is asking them to write, however, this does not mean that the grammar and the English language rules are observed.

This is the difference in your essay from the others.

I understand that you are still getting use to practicing the language, however, when it comes to writing, it will not hurt if you come up with words that are used in daily English conversations, this will simplify your essay and will help your readers understand the article and will follow through with your projects. The simpler the words the better essay you will be able to come up with. Good luck, keep writing and we are just here for you.
OP dudtkd85 1 / 3  
Jun 2, 2016   #4
I really give thanks to you. I hope to write a simple and clear essay, but I need more time to write what I want to express clearly. For GRE test, I am required to use academic and difficult words, so I might focus on learning these kinds of words. Anyway, I feel really happy that I find this website, and I kindly ask you to help me improve my writing skills. Thank you again.
OP dudtkd85 1 / 3  
Jun 2, 2016   #5
Thank you for your kind comment. I have been preparing for GRE test, so I concentrate on studying logic and structure in essay. Could you give me any commenets about it?
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 3, 2016   #6
Hi Sang, when it comes to the logical order of your essay, I must say you have done it well. The key to logical approach of the essay is to, first, know your topic, give a brief introduction in the first paragraph, then extend the idea and provide ample details in order to elaborate your idea and you are able to do just this, so good job on that.

Now, when it comes to the structure of your essay, we check your sentences first and yes they are well structured, your subject input are written in a way where they're suppose to be written and this coincides with the rest of the sentence in order to give that complete idea and overall clarity of the essay.

There you have it Sang, I hope the insights are helpful, also, don't worry with the words you choose to associate in your essay, even if they're deep or bold English words, so long as they mean what you want to imply in your essay, this should be perfect, conversational English is much better of course but with practice, you will be better at this craft.
OP dudtkd85 1 / 3  
Jun 4, 2016   #7
I really give thanks to you. You are a good teacher for me!!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 4, 2016   #8
No worries at all Sang, i hope you do follow through with the corrections We suggested here on EF.

Just to re-iterate what we've been suggesting here on EF, whenever you're writing, make sure that you review the language rules, know and understand your prompt and allow your imagination to flow.

Also, make sure that you spend time practicing, reading and experimenting different writing techniques, this will widen your ability to write and approach your future writing projects in different format.

I hope this insights helped in your future writing reference. Should you need further assistance, do let us know so we can assist you further.

Home / Writing Feedback / Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience (GRE topic)