the evolution of communication and information searching methods
The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinion on this?
As technology has become well-developed, the internet has brought numerous convenience to our lives. Although some people argue that these alterations will have detrimental effects, I believe that the benefits of such invention far outweigh its drawbacks. In this essay, there are two main reasons that I will explain why I think this way.
One advantage is that internet has revolutionised the way of communication. In the past, mail deliveries needed to rely on postmen and citizens had to wait for a couple of days before receiving mails, not to mention the messages sent from abroad. In modern times, however, with various online chat applications (such as WhatsApp, Line, etc.) being developed, residents are available to communicate immediately. In addition, internet has diminished the impact of geographical distance. This significantly helps people who suffer from long-distance relationships to keep their updates and feel a sense of affection without any delays through either online messages or video chats.
Obtaining a vast amount of information within few minutes is another benefit of the internet. Hundreds of thousands online resources can be easily assessed at a click of a button rather than wasting a substantial period of time on searching library shelves. Admittedly, a few educationalists will argue that not all of online information is reliable as some may have inappropriate and misunderstanding content. Nonetheless, I truly think that if we know how to identify and select suitable online materials , it undoubtedly results in saving more time and efforts.
In conclusion, as I stated above, I firmly believe that the internet have had more positive impacts on our lives. This is because of its influence on the evolution of communication and information searching methods, leading to a cost-effective and advantageous society.
...numerous convenience {here the noun should be plural} to our lives.
... I will explain why I think this way {In this essay there are two main reasons that will explain why I think this way}.
... internet has revolutionised {revolutionized} ...
... to rely on postmen, (comma missing) and ...
... developed, residents (poor word choice?) are ...
Hundreds of thousands {of} online resources can be easily assessed (poor word choice? Maybe you mean accessed) at a click ... on searching {the} library shelves. Admittedly, a few educationalists (poor word choice?) will argue ...
... that the internet have {has} had ...
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 Aside from a slight discussion deviation, you were able to defend your opinion very well. Also, you should have used a synonym for "the internet" because that is still a direct keyword from the original presentation. Synonyms for "the internet" include cyberspace, world wide web, hyperspace, information superhighway, and online network. It is important to use synonyms in the essay to highlight your lexical resources in relation to the given topic.
Your response to the prompt requirement is not developed in accordance with the question posed. The question was:
What are your opinion on this?
Based on the opinion:
...the overall effect of this technology has been positive
You changed the discussion direction by responding:
I believe that the benefits of such invention far outweigh its drawbacks. In this essay, there are two main reasons that I will explain why I think this way.
This is an opinion essay based on a specific statement given in the discussion prompt. You altered the positive benefits discussion by indicating a discussion by discussing drawbacks. The proper response would have been:
I believe that the existence of cyberspace in the everyday activities of people provides a beneficial influence. I base this opinion on 2 factors which will be discussed below.
Try not to alter the prompt response in the paraphrase so that you will not lose points in the TA section. Avoid using parenthesis in the essay. Always use full sentences and do not use "etc." in the presentation because this is an academic essay.
