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The impacts of the technological development to the comunication of both individuals and society.

Daisybee 1 / -  
Jun 11, 2018   #1

The effect of innovation in the sphere of communication

There is no doubt that the developments of technology during the past thirty years have improved communication which promotes the global cooperation for both individuals and society. Besides, this change also has some disadvantage for people's life. This essay will discuss about the effect of these innovation.

In fact, the benefits of the development in technological communication for human's society are untold. For individuals, this change helps them time because instead of waiting for a long time to send letters, people can exchange information immediately by using cellphone or access internet. In addition people also can save their money since some applications allow they send messages without paying any fee. With society, this innovation bridges the gap in cultures and regions, so it promotes the integration among different areas. For instant, internet and computer software allow companies can manage their subsidies and create the meetings easily.

By contrast, the changing in communication also makes some negative effect for human's life. Nowadays, people abuse technology, this action leads them to lack interactive communication. As the results people are short of communication skills and can be isolated. About society, some people take advantage of this innovation to cheat or harm others. Consequently, in our society there are a new crime wave occurred named cyber criminals.

All in all, the changing in communication has both advantages and disadvantages. It makes our life more comfortable and convenient but it also causes some problem. However, in my opinion the benefits of this change outweigh these drawbacks.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,001 4238  
Jun 12, 2018   #2
Daisy. I wish you had provided the original prompt for this discussion so that I could have a better idea as to how the discussion of the given topic was to be approached by the writer. I am unsure as to whether or not you have followed the discussion instructions in your writing so I will not touch on that topic in the review of your work. Instead, I will focus on the grammar and continuity problems in your essay.

You have a tendency to use connecting words such as "besides" and "in fact", which are words used to connect previous sentences to the next sentence. Or, in some instances, it is used to connect 2 different ideas in one sentence. You also show a lack of understanding as to how to properly use connecting words because you failed to use these words in certain instances. Some examples of these mistakes are:

Besides, this change also has some disadvantage for people's life.

- Where is the advantage discussion? That should have been presented first.

In fact, the benefits of the development

- Where is the topic sentence? An explanation leading up to this statement should be shown first.

this change helps them time

- There is a missing connecting word here. There is an action completed but no subject indicated before the action.

For instant

- For instance

I cannot go deeper into the problems of your paper without knowing what this paper is supposed to have accomplished. I am really sad that I cannot give you a more intricate review of your work. Maybe, if you remember to post the prompt with your next essay, I will be able to better help you improve your writing skills based on the analysis of your work in relation to the instructions you were provided.

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