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The importance of art, music and drama especially at primary level

frulymuly 1 / -  
May 13, 2020   #1
Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that schools should ensure that equal attention is given to subjects of art, music and theatre as any other subject, especially during the early school years. I strongly agree with this statement as these areas of study stimulate creativity and enhance self-confidence in young minds and also opens the possibility of having a career in different performance arts.

Firstly, elementary school students can benefit greatly from performance art in terms of improving their self-confidence and opening their minds to a world of imagination. An explanation for this is that children at a younger age have a great thirst for knowledge and are more susceptible to learning new skills. They are encouraged to apply their brains beyond textbooks, and instead practise their creativity to innovate and invent. Furthermore, often students learning music work in a team as part of a choir which helps develop their personality. For instance, children studying acting have to speak in front of large audiences and this helps them overcome fears of public speaking. Therefore, these subjects are important to create dynamic personalities.

Secondly, by introducing and training children in these creative skills at the primary level sets them up for a potential career in one these fields. There are always students who have a natural talent for drawing or those who prefer to enhance their singing skills more than studying science and maths. This talent can be harnessed and the progenies may grow up to be successful if they are provided with an opportunity to study these subjects from a very young age.

In conclusion, I believe performance art subjects deserve to be credited as important as all other subjects it is beneficial for future of the students. Art, music and drama assist in nurturing dynamic personalities as well as in paving a professional path for young children in these fields.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,568 2485  
May 13, 2020   #2
Being a simple agree or disagree essay, you do not need to offer an emotional or measured response to the prompt. This is a simple discussion that could have been better served, with a simple agreement statement supported by the outline of your discussion topics in the succeeding paragraphs. This essay covers 3 discussion topics:

- Arts
- Music
- Drama

Each reference topic from the original prompt should be discussed within its own paragraph, making this a 5 paragraph essay covering:

- Discussion restatement and response
- Arts discussion
- Music discussion
- Drama discussion

By separating each topic into its own, specific paragraph, you can better thresh out your explanation in support of the importance of each category. Your first reasoning paragraph became highly confusing to read and follow. It has caused undue stress on the reader because you tried to connect 2 separate topics in one paragraph. This weakened the overall reasoning, explanation, and examples within the presentation. Always consider how many topics are required in the discussion (3 in this case) and allot individual paragraphs for the discussion to assure a fully developed and explained presentation for every category.

Try to use 3 sentences in the concluding summary. Always refer to the original discussion topic as a separate sentence. It was this missing element that created an under developed concluding summary. Otherwise, you did an acceptable job of summarizing your essay content.

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