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Writing Feedback Posts: 6

Which is more important family or friend


Phuongbo 1 / -  
Feb 2, 2019   #1

inappropriate comparison



hello everyone my name is phương I from 11A , today I'm standing here with an interesting topic " family and friends which is more important " . In my opinion , it's difficult to compare family and friends. It sound inapproriate .

Fristly. Family is our origin, we have our frist breath in the family . They teach us about simplest things in the world such us : how to wear clothes, how to eat , drink .Though your thinking might differ from your family, they still are your family and love you as much as always. Family will stay with you even in the hardest of times when all have given up on you. Friends may be your friends for a reason, your family will always be your family without any reason

Besides , we have more things in common with friends - this is because they usually are the same age as us and they all like doing the same things. I mean, I could not imagine my mother playing doll games with my little sister , so they can play with us any game , go any where if conditions allow . Moreover they can share with us our secret , our feeling and so on

From my point of view, both of them are very important for us. Each one give us things that the other one can not, the only difference is that you have to choose your friends, so try to do it well and they will be like a second family for you

eviand /  
Feb 2, 2019   #2
Like you said, I don't think this is a fair comparison. Both family and friends are vital in leading a healthy life. One cannot replace the other and vice versa.

However, on second thoughts, friends are replaceable while family is not. Friendship don't always last forever, while family ties certainly do. This is why, if I had to choose, I would go with family. Thank God I don't ever have to make such a distinction.
riteshsinha 3 / 7 2  
Feb 3, 2019   #3
@Phuongbo
Although you should always give priority to your family. There are instances where your brother starts to go against you due to diferent reaons like taking care of you old parents, sharing equally the expenses or property disputes. You start getting annoyed.

Understanding human relations are simpler said than done. It becomes complex when one of your close starts to hate the other who is also very close to you. For example, imagine the relation between your mother and your girlfriend/fiance/spouse. Most of the times the reasons are pity to one and important to the other. This makes the situation very difficult to handle.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Feb 3, 2019   #4
Phuong, you have several spelling errors in this essay:

inapproriate = inappropriate

Fristly = Firstly

Frist - First

Please remember that you are being scored in proper spelling and should strive to deliver the correct spelling of words every time. If you are not sure of how to spell a word, it is best to find an alternative word to use which you know how to spell. It is also imperative that you edit your essay for these mistakes before you consider it finalized in form. Sometimes, spelling mistakes are the result of an oversight on the part of the writer. In the end, wrong spelling can have dire consequences for your score.

Make sure you are also using the words in the proper context and presentation. You made these mistakes in your presentation:

... such us = ... such AS

... any where = ... anywhere (one word not two)

give = gives (subject-verb disagreement)

... can not = cannot ( The words must be written as a conjunction)

... sound inappropriate = ... soundS inappropriate

Please also remember that a comma must be used after an introductory element such as "Moreover" and after greetings such as "Hello everyone". You should also avoid using contractions in a formal written setting. Therefore:

I'm = I am
It's = It is

If you are stating a fact, then you should not be uncertain when presenting information. Avoid using terms that do not appear to be confident such as "In my opinion" if it is not required by the discussion instructions. You can also simply say "both" rather than "both of them" since there it comes across as a redundancy.
Ziming82222 1 / 2  
Feb 8, 2019   #5
Families are always the people supporting you whatever your current situation. But if you are away from your home, friends are the closest people you can rely on.

But anyway, families will never betray you.
lin0208 3 / 4 2  
Feb 9, 2019   #6
Hello, one thing i want to say is that your essay has lots of small mistakes.

First, you should be careful with tenses because if you write beautifully but have lots of gramma mistakes, you will still lose point.

Secondly, you essay's tone is informal. Ielts is an academic test so you should change your tone.

Thirdly, your voice in this essay is too basic to get high mark. But i think you are a new learner and you will be better.

Good luck


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