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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Nowadays it is more important to plant trees in open spaces in towns and cites


lyncbb 1 / 1  
Mar 23, 2022   #1
Nowadays it is more important to plant trees in open spaces in towns and cities than building houses.

To what extent do you agree or disagree



The controversy of whether humans should prioritize planting trees in open spaces in towns and cities rather than building houses recently provokes heated debate among citizens. From my perspective, I partly agree with this former statement since both planting trees and housing play crucial roles in our daily lives.

On the one hand, it is universally acknowledged that planting trees bring huge benefits to city dwellers. First, they give assistance to improve air quality, especially in metropolitan cities. With the advent of industry and technology, the environment is gradually contaminated by enormous amounts of CO2 emissions. Subsequently, trees play a pivotal role in absorbing those toxic fumes and releasing O2 that contributes to the improvement of air quality, which can reduce respiratory issues among people who live in cities. Furthermore, trees create shade and a peaceful atmosphere that enable citizens to take part in outside activities. Therefore, stress and other mental problems can be limited, leading to the fact that the living standard of city dwellers is increasing in the long term. A study conducted by Cambridge University students suggests that looking at the green of tree leaves for 30 minutes per day can significantly soothe one's mind and recharge their battery after a hectic working day.

On the other hand, housing is believed to contribute greatly to the process of ensuring habitants' living standards. Initially, the increasing population poses a threat to the governments to solve the issue of affordable housing for citizens. Consequently, more trees have been cut down to make room for new houses with a view to meet the demand of city dwellers. For instance, in metropolises such as Beijing or Shanghai, housing comes out at the top due to the excessive number of people. Another justification is that without enough homes, people in such big cities are likely to be homeless, leading to a high crime rate that involves drug addiction or violence. This phenomenon could be detrimental to any countries' development; therefore, prioritizing housing can partly tackle this issue and ensure the quality of life for citizens.

In conclusion, planting trees and building houses both have significant impacts on city dwellers. Governments and authorities should have feasible measures to strike a balance between these two factors so that the living standard of habitats will be improved in the future.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,062 4260  
Mar 23, 2022   #2
There are clear problem points in the opening restatement. The first problem is that the writer is exaggerating the statement from the original by using inflammatory words such as "controversy" and "provokes heated debate". Neither claim is referenced in the original so the restatement has become inaccurate. An idea was presented so, an idea should be restated. Second among the other problems of this essay are the use of the original reference topic

in open spaces in towns and cities rather than building houses

. The writer did not even try to restate the information in a different way. As such the restatement will fail due to the cut and paste / memorized reference. However, the miter provided a well established opinion + thesis statement. That reduced the amount of deductions in that paragraph.

The next problem that will cause additional deductions is the inclusion of a solution in the summary conclusion. As there is no requirement indicated for such a statement, this will be seen as a prompt alteration and relevant discussion. This section must only contain a paraphrasing of previous discussion points.
OP lyncbb 1 / 1  
Mar 24, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thank you for sending me such sincere feedback! I appreciate that <3


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