TOEFL improve the quality of education,more money should be spent on professors' salaries

Guys please tell your idea about how is my grade from 30?? and correct my essay.
To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors.Agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are many vital decisions to be taken related to the budget of universities. One the hottest one is that in order to improve quality of education, salaries of professor should be increase. Albeit this idea will help to raise the quality of education, in my point of view we can invest that money of the other aspects to improve the quality of education on universities.

One of the most important ways in which we can improve the quality of education is investment on the properties and equipment of university. In most cases, students learn a lot in an interactive environment for example in laboratories or in conferences. Thus it is necessary to spend money in these areas that are essential in students learning. Furthermore, with these facilities, students and professors will get positive energy that will help them to have higher performance in their field.

Another potential area for investment is funding for both students and professors. If students know that there are some funding for students according to their performance such as high grade average point, they will have more motivation to learn and study. Also, if professors know that there are some research founding for them and for their students they would work harder to get it and they would try to improve their ranking among others. Hence, that definitely will raise the quality of education in university.

Not surprisingly, raising salaries of professors would not cause the quality of education and we should consider some subtle points if we want to do so. For instance, professors' salaries should raise due to their academic performance. Then they would get some motivation to teach better and do some creative works for students to learn better. Besides, I think now professors salaries is enough to make leaving and to have convenient life, additional money should be for one's who are more creative and effective.

To sum up, I firmly believe that there are lots of efficient ways for investment in order to have higher quality of education rather that investing on professor's salaries. In my point of view, professors today get enough salaries and getting higher salary should depend on their performance.

:D .... Here I am :D


.... here you don't align your view with what your prompt talks about. You need to clearly say that whether you agree that professors' salaries should be increased in order to improve quality of university education or not. Do not say that indirectly, but make a clear statement that gives your view direct to the reader.


.... the word "one" gets repeated. Also it should be always "one of the many". For example, one of my friends, one of the schools, one of our children .... the subject should always be in plural form because you are going to single out one from many.


... here it's correct :)

I am glad that finally someone reads my essay :D
Thanks Pahan

From my understanding and according to "the Official Guide to the TOEFL Test With CD-ROM, 4th Edition", I would assume that you will get a score of 3 out of 5 (which is the equivalent of 17-21) for couple of reasons that I cannot cite. Of course the final score of the writing section will be evaluated from both the Integrated and independent task (each essay x/5).

In the Independent writing task, the template should be as the following;
1) Introduction
2) Thesis
3) Main ideas
4) Supporting ideas (examples to back up your main ideas)
5) Transitional words and phrases
6) Conclusion
my comment: your essay is fine, I'm sure you can improve it.

... Wish you improve clarity a bit more;
One of the important ways of improving the quality of education is to improve the facilities of universities and colleges.


Therefore it is necessary to invest money for upgrading these facilities that enable the students to have an ideal environment for their learning process.

You haven't provided specific examples for this reasoning. It is an important feature for you to earn a good score for this task.