Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 4

Task 2: Increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems.


Mar 16, 2020   #1
Topic: People think that the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

taxes on petrol?



Essay:

The environment has been one of the major concerns of the world in recent years, especially in 2019 when micro dust was at an alarming rate. One of the reasons for this matter is because of emissions from vehicles. Therefore, some people have proposed that national authorities should raise taxes on petrol. While this seems to be an effective solution, I would argue that there are superior ones to cope with environmental issues.

It is reasonable why rising fuel's price is advocated by some people as this would lead to a reduction in the number of journeys made by cars and other private transports. As a result, there will be a shift to using more public vehicles such as buses or electric trams and this will, in turn, help reduce the greenhouse effect. However, this measure would only be beneficial in the short term since the extra expense does not account for much in total.

Hence, I strongly believe that the better option is to raise tariffs on private modes of transport, instead. Korea perfectly exemplifies this situation. In Korean, the local authorities put a high tariff barrier on cars which eventually led to a plunge in the number of car users and also a considerable increase in the number of journeys made by buses and underground trains. Moreover, the government should also upgrade public transport infrastructure to facilitate the transportation around the city even more so that more and more people will choose it over riding private transports. Both aforementioned measures will result in a cut down on exhaust fumes from personal cars and help in the effort to combat global warming.

In brief, a surge in the cost of petrol would be a useful environmental-friendly solution, although, in the long term, I have the belief that imposing high taxes on cars and improving public facilities would be optimal.

ndhnif 3 / 6 2  
Mar 17, 2020   #2
@abcxyz0987654321
Dear Author,

Actually I am impress on how you serve this piece, as I think that this is relatively good.
Here's minor suggestion from me:

I have the belief that
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,157 2307  
Mar 17, 2020   #3
It would appear that your word count, though definitely far over the minimum count, ended up being too many words for the 40 minute time allowance. You have to make sure that you use a timer when you write these practice exercises. That way, you won't need to watch the clock at the testing center, you know exactly how many words you can write when you allot the time properly for brainstorming, drafting, reviewing, correcting, and finalizing the content. Yes, all those steps need to be completed within 40 minutes. You definitely won't have enough time to write 310 words in that instance. Maybe 270 or 290 words, 300 as a absolute maximum depending upon your English comprehension skills and writing abilities, but no more than that.

Now focusing on your essay, I have to say that you will not get a passing TA score for this test for one reason alone, you failed to properly address the prompt. The Original discussion prompt indicates:

Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You changed it to:

People think that the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

In this instance, you made it clear that you altered the prompt and in effect, did not discuss the topic based on the discussion plan provided by the original prompt. Severe deductions will be made because of this in the TA score which will definitely lead to a less than 5 band score on your final assessment. You ended up arguing, a term that examiners frown upon when you were simply asked to discuss. There is a big difference between the two approaches to the opinion presentation of the problem. Not to mention, you gave a response that was not related to the original discussion. So this will definitely pull down your score to a point where even if you scored better in the other aspects of the test, it still won't be enough to reach the 5 band score at a minimum.

While your reasons may be scored in relation to the original prompt discussion, the failure to clearly respond to the task shows your inability to understand an English set of discussion instructions. That means, the examiner will view you as lacking in English education and comprehension skills to qualify to study in the UK, Australia, or Canada to name but a few countries that accept IELTS test results for foreign students.
OP abcxyz0987654321 1 / 1  
Mar 17, 2020   #4
@ndhnif @Holt thank you so much for your feedbacks <3


Home / Writing Feedback / Task 2: Increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems.