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The increase in people's life lenght means that they have to work older to pay for their retirement



lequanganh 1 / -  
Apr 16, 2023   #1

Retirement age and longevity



Futuristic perspective has already been a consideration for passionate desires inevitably dreamed of by humanity throughout centuries of development. And somehow, several confirmations established by researchers reported that an expanded life expectancy is a preparation for the redefined prospect. Following up the efficiencies, the drawbacks subsequent to them might probably be the frequent issue, it requires workforce to work elder in order to pay for their retirement, a curable solution for this complication is to work in an earlier age and get the youth employment. In my opinion, this is a negative development.

To start with, today's generation illustrates abundant of purposeful efforts, whereas, if the attempts are not sustainable, they will significantly vanish and be conceptualized as well. As the analysis demonstrated, the youth are not well-prepared for their employment, it is necessary for labor to make up their preparation and ready to face the pressures and depression from the harsh works. Secondly, students in nurture belonged to the management operated by education centers, in a working environment, personalities can't be controllable, there can be conflicts and competitive opponents all over your works, this means, it's necessary for the students to initially become apprentices and complete their mature behaviour as well as improve their working skills. Moreover, the youth in particular doesn't have a sense of responsibility, expressing their narcissism and immaturely behaving could actually create annoyance in others, situationally, the illegal actions may occur between arguments and cause injuries, even if it's on the property, these are entirely related to the lawful principles.

To sum up, the radical target for students to reach is to learn and successfully reach their achievements. Every cloud has its' silver lining, no matter how massive an issue can be, it is prominent in how your attempts, efforts and contributions are valuable.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15370  
Apr 17, 2023   #2
The essay came in at exactly 300 words. That is the only positive thing about this essay that makes it extremely difficult for the reader to understand what you are talking about. You caused the failure of this essay because you decided to try and impress the examiner solely upon your English vocabulary. However, you extensive English vocabulary did not work to impress the reader in this case. Mostly because your explanations were so difficult to keep track of, your train of thought could not be clearly followed.

You should also address the formatting requirements of this essay properly. It should be composed of:

Par. 1: Prompt restatement + Writer's Opinion
Par. 2&3: Reasons and explanations
Par. 4: Concluding discussion summary

As you can see, you have failed to address the proper writing presentation and correct vocabulary usage for this essay. These are the primary reasons that the essay will fail to receive a passing mark.


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