Writing task 2: The increase in the production on the natural environment

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What can be done to solve this problem?
There are a number of factors that explain why the growth in producing consumer products harms the natural environment. However, this issue can be resolved by adopting a number of solutions, as will now be discussed.

It is true that the natural ecosystem gets worse as the harmful impacts of industrial activities. To begin with, the expansion of manufacturing demands more land to build the factories. This may require destroying the green spaces to make room for the factories which negatively affect the quality of atmosphere. Secondly, As more goods are produced, more toxic materials and gasses are burned and released to the atmosphere such as carbon dioxide and methane. Because the gasses are able to absorb radiation from the sun, they have a direct impact on the temperature of the planet. The global warming consequences result in rising sea levels, an increase in tsunamis, typhoons, which damage property and life of many people in the world. In addition, factories is the major contributing factor of water and air pollution as the increase in production produces more waste to the planet. If they are not recycled, these products can remain as waste for thousands of years, posing a threat to the living habitats of all creatures

Actions must be taken to minimize the devastating impacts on the natural environment from increasing the production of consumer goods. Firstly, companies should allocate funds for investing in solar energy systems, which help reduce the amount of fuel and electricity consumption, then decrease toxic emissions, which can improve global warming issues. Additionally, developing new product models with eco-friendly functions such as re-use, recycling easier should be taken into account. This improvement is beneficial to decrease the amount of trash for the ecosystems, reduce air and water pollution concerns which contribute to a healthier earth.

In conclusion, It is true that the raising in the production of consumer products poses several adverse influences on the ecosystems. However, various measures can be taken to solve the problems that are certain to arise as the production of goods rises.

Your prompt restatement is still close enough to the original presentation for this to be considered a plagiarism of the original. You have not used enough replacement words to create an original thought presentation. So you should work on developing your synonym vocabulary while you still can. The paragraph is further weakened by the lack of proper response to the given question. There is no discussion overview present that the examiner can score as your opinion on the matter. Therefore, your preliminary TA score for this paragraph will be problematic.

The first sentence of your second paragraph is a hanging sentence. The idea is not clearly threshed out. You did not complete the presentation using the cause and effect format. The effect was presented, but there is not enough information about the cause to make it coherent.

You are only being asked to present solutions to the problem. Therefore your essay is not properly discussing the topic as provided. Your focus on how the impact is created takes up more of the discussion than the actual solution you are being asked to present. Therefore, your essay will fail based on an incorrect discussion format and lack of proper discussion development.