An increasing number of people in many nations are opting to live alone

IELTS WRITING TASK 2:Is living alone negative or positive?

In some countries, more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think that is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are opting to live alone in many nations. However, whether the trend is a positive or negative change is a controversial issue.My view is that it has both destructive and constructive influences.

First, it is obvious that when people live on their own, they have a more flexible schedule for their activities.This means that they do not have to subject their family's rule about what time they can play an instrument or even go out for a party.For example, while young adults have modern lifestyles such as working lately or hanging out with friends at a club or holding a night party at weekends, their parents have more ingrained ones therefore they would not get along well in daily basis if live together. Moreover, people would be more financially independent if they live by their own.This is because the young generations are more vulnerable and insecure when they live off their parents and learning how to survive in real life is the good way of being grown-up which also reduces burdens for their family.

That is not to say that living alone is always beneficial for people.Of course, managing to live in real life means that individuals may encounter some tough situations, especially when they are in an emergency such as severe illnesses like heart attack or even got bit by a snake that could risk their life without receiving help from others. Besides, the trend could put people in loneliness that could lead to depression or anxiety disorders if they stuck with their own in a long time.Taking Japan as premium example of the country that people tend to live alone, you can see Japanese not engaging with each other so much and the quantity of depression cases in Japan always remain at high level.

In sum, living alone is getting more and more common all over the world, in my opinion the phenomenon has both beneficial and detrimental effects.

I would like to give you my comment.
Firstly, I must recognize that your vocabulary and the way you use the words are completely proper as well as how you interpret the examples given. However, the exact tone you used is for speaking, not for writing in my perspective. you continued to use run-on sentences and the wrong use with commas. For example, it should be ",therefore,". There are some verbs that shouldn't be used in writings such get/got.

Moreover, I've checked the number of words in your essay. It's too much long and I believe that you won't be able to finish it on time.

You have to learn to identify the difference between a multiple opinion essay and a single opinion essay. The minute you read the word OR in the prompt, that is a single opinion essay. When you read "discuss both points of views..." then that is a multiple opinion essay. This prompt has the word OR in it, making it a single opinion essay. That means, the comparative discussion is incorrect. Rather, you need 2 reasoning paragraphs in defense of a single opinion. Your opinion does not show a clear personal point of view. That will affect your overall score as there is no clarity to your opinion that is aligned with the prompt requirements.

Thanks u guys a lot!It is really help me,you made my days shout out to @Holt and @DiepVu99