Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS: Indoor or outdoor teaching.. to get valuable results



hadi1981 25 / 43  
Jun 24, 2012   #1
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go school.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods and give your own opinion


Education is important for everyone to improve the society in general and the person's life in private. The way of teaching considered to be changeable from one person to another, some people prefer indoor teaching while others think having teaching in the schools would not compensate by any other option. In the following paragraphs I will analyze advantages and disadvantages of both opinions and present my point in view about people who have moderate stance between them.

First of all, outdoor teaching gives the child the opportunity to be in a team to cooperate with others, learn how to share his opinion with them as well as how to deal with any other's idea and develop it. The group activities are difficult to be available indoor, in addition to that the student needs to show his results to his friends and see their friends' works to compare, improve, and create something useful.

Secondly, teaching in the schools would improve social abilities, because the child would copy persons' behaviors which seen in front of him/her. In the school there are multiple choices of behaviors to be copied, therefore, it would be a wonderful portrait of behaviors. A good deal of researches tells that the child is like a mirror could mimic anything in front, so better to improve kid's skills by rise his mirrored capabilities.

Finally, students need competition to do more efforts to succeed and achieve better results. Indoor teaching could help to gain best scores in the school but it would not be instead of the competition between children. I remember when I was a child I spent too much time to finish my homework with my parents' help because I wanted to be proud in front of my friends.

In conclusion, teaching is inevitable for everyone and should be done in the best way to get valuable results. Education should be acknowledged by indoor and outdoor teaching accompany and that would help to bring up talent people who can interfere better in his society.

chwong 3 / 5  
Jun 24, 2012   #2
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go school.

In the following paragraphs I will analyze advantages and disadvantages of both opinions and present my point in view about people who have moderate stance between them.

comments:
In your introduction, you have indicate that you will disccussed the both methods but I can just read you focus in benefit of outdoor teaching.

You did not mention about the indoor at all.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 24, 2012   #3
Education is important for everyone to improve the society in general and the person's life in private.

If you take off the part "for everyone" then this sentence reads better. The reason is when you say everyone, it takes a more personal nature and does not support the society which is more or less have a sense of public :)

Education is important to improve the society in general and the person's life in private

The way of teaching considered to be changeableis perceived differentlyfromby one person to another

while others think having teaching in the schools would not compensate by any other option.

this needs to be re-phrased;
while others think that teaching at schools is best and cannot be compensated by any other teaching option.

my point in view

point of view


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Indoor or outdoor teaching.. to get valuable results
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳