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The information about the amount of books been read in a school, the trends of years 2009-2012.



andika08 81 / 73  
Sep 16, 2016   #1
The line graph shows the number of library books which read by boys and girls at Starmouth school from 2009 until 2012. There were an information about amount of books and the trends of years between 2009 until 2012.

These boys and girls line was divided into the three grups lines. First one is 2009 until 2010, second is 2010 until 2011 and the last is 2011 to 2012. There was a slight increase in grup one at 30 books. After that, the group two numbers book also increased slightly at 20 books. Then, there was dramatic rise in numbers for group three at 140 books.

While, The number of book increased slightly in grup one at 10 books. Group two numbers rose dramatically at 60 books. The amount of books peaked in 2010. But, the last line was a sharp fall at 20 books.

However, both group one and two was stead felt trends. But, there was different trends in the last group which trend for boys higher than girls.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the three of groups.


  • IMG_1296.JPG


fadhilmd25 41 / 71  
Sep 16, 2016   #2
Dear Andika, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct me,

There were an information about amount

about the amount of books

increase in gro up one

increased slightly in gro up

Hope it helps to improve your writing

Regards
kiki23 37 / 58  
Sep 16, 2016   #3
Hi! I have some advice for you

at Starmouth school should be

at the Starmouth Librar School

There were an information about amount of books and the trends of years between 2009 until 2012.

The information given is about the amount... and its trend...
ryan31 65 / 89  
Sep 16, 2016   #4
hello dika
I have some suggestions for you
I hope it helps
there is a wrong collocation for example use from must followed by touse your arrange vocabulary (paraphrase the before sentence)using connector it is critical to improve your writing for example in addition, furthermore, after that

... divided into the three grups group lines. The First,one is 2009 until 2010, the second isfrom 2010 untilto 2011 and the last isfrom 2011 to 2012.
... increase in grups groups one at 30 books.
... increased slightly at 20 books . Then, there was a dramatic rise in the numbers for group ...
... increased slightly in grups groups one at 10 books. use connector Group two numbers ...use connector ...
However, both of group one and two was ...
ALMAJID06 4 / 9  
Sep 16, 2016   #5
the number of library books which read (passive Voice always use V3) by boys ...
There were (use was because singular) an information
both(of group one and two was (were) stead felt trends


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