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Information technology is changing many aspects of lives and now dominates our home, leisure, work

an68 2 / 3  
May 5, 2024   #1
In this modern age, technology is being applied in many fields, making people's lives vary significantly. Apparently, it appears to have a lot of advantages which are completely superior to those of humans, but everything has its drawbacks and technology is not an exception.

Firstly, it cannot be denied that technology is becoming more important in life. This is because of the fact that technology can now help people do many things which they may do not have time to do or they do not have the ability to do it as accurately and well as it does. .. For example, over the years, people are increasingly having some automatic machines in their houses like cleaning machine in order to mop and sweep their floors, for they are too busy with their work. Moreover, technology can also be applied in entertainment industry that people are manipulating it to create games with fascinating virtual worlds or cartoons with beautiful graphics for relaxation purposes Furthermore, in factories, hi-tech machines can even replace humans in several stages of producing process to improve efficiency because its accuracy is better than their, and using it is much cheaper than hiring employees to do.

However,if we overuse technology, it can lead to negative results. With its convenience, people are likely to depend on machines; therefore, they gradually lose their ability to do even easy housework on their own. Besides, there is a more serious problem which is unemployment. With the ability to replace humans in work activities, this will probably make a large number of people unemployed, causing unstable politics and vices. For example, if people don't have a job to earn money for life, they may commit some illegal acts like stealing or robbing.

In conclusion,in my opinion, despite all the disadvantages, technology's strengths are more significant. Though, people should find out how to use it properly.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
May 9, 2024   #2
Even though you successfully wrote more than 300 words, the essay itself is empty of useful reasoning and convincing facts. You have not been able to convince the examiner that you have useful knowledge of the topic provided. The discussion, though in English, lacks proper context and therefore, greatly suffers in terms of Coherence and Cohesiveness. The discussion appears to go around in circles, without a convincing aspect. It is not that you do not have enough of an English vocabulary to pass the test, it is that you do not show that you have enough logic and reasoning to back up the vocabulary you are using. There is a need for you to create a more interesting and informative paragraph presentation.

Home / Writing Feedback / Information technology is changing many aspects of lives and now dominates our home, leisure, work
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