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"Is international sport cup is really important to our life?" - IELTS



ing595 1 / 1  
May 4, 2011   #1
Hi guys, I just student who study IELTS
So... I know my eassy is mess but,if U guys give some advice to me I really appreciate that
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Q. Popular events like the football World Cap and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing interational tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A. I believe international sport cup is really important to our life. Because international sport cup is can be make the good issue and also make the bad issue. And in my opinion international sport is more make good thing than bad thing. So, this eassy describe some reason about good effect.

First, when the world do something of international sport cup, each country can be make economic benefit. Kind of countrys advert or some companys advert. So, each countrys can be make more visters or tourist than before the international sport cup and also company can be more sell stuffs or something of survice

second thing is like topic says, international sport cup is can be release some thing emotions in a safe way. Sure some guys can be take this sport cup too much seriously side so, make some bad effect. But, almost peoples used sport cup for release the some bad emotions in a safe way. Kind of some stress od sad mood like that. So, international sport cup is good for peoples

And last effent the international sport cup is make relationship to each countrys. international sports in can be make intimate to each countrys. So this effect can be solve about some bad happen between countrys and also make more frandly.

Sure, international sport cup is also can be make the more bad effent or occur dangerous happening. But, basicaly I think international sport cup is made by good opinion and make the many good effect than bad effect. So my opinion is international sport cup is for the world

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Thank you for read.

hoanghai549 5 / 13  
May 4, 2011   #2
I believe international sport cup is really important to our life. Because international sport cup can make the good issues and also make the bad issues . From my point of view , The international sports make positive ways than negative ways . This essay describes some reasons about good effects .

In general , I know what you mean But there are many basic grammar mistakes that you need to notice . All words and sentences written in your essay should be used in speaking skills rather than in writing skills . Try to write the essay with academic words . I think you should spend a lot of time on writing . Good luck !!!!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 6, 2011   #3
Let's do this: in our lives

I believe international sport cup is really important in our lives. ---You way was okay, but this might be better.

And in my opinion international sports have more benefits than drawbacks.---This is a sentence you can use a lot when you talk about benefits and drawbacks of various things.

So, this eassy essay describes some of the benefits.

First, when the world do something of countries gather for an international sports cup, each country can enjoy economic benefits.

Kind of countrys advert or some companys advert. ??

Capitalize:
The second thing...

Kind of some stress od sad mood like that. ??

And the last benefit of an international sporting event is to create relationships among the various countries.

Capitalize:
International sports can be build rapport among countries. -----Do not use intimate here. It is often used to refer to sexual intimacy. I think "build rapport" is better here.

:-)
OP ing595 1 / 1  
May 7, 2011   #4
Really appreciate for your advice. THank you so much!
student7 5 / 14  
May 8, 2011   #5
Because international sport cup is can be make the good issue and also make the bad issue.
One sentence cannot have two verb.
And in my opinion international sport is more make good thing than bad thing.
the same thing here.
So, this eassy describe some reason about good effect.
describeS
be careful about the agreement
when the world do something of international sport cup,
the same thing here

there are many grammar mistakes in your paragraph.
and I found that you like to use "is can be" or "is make" in the sentences.
those structures look weird...
blazer 3 / 9  
May 8, 2011   #6
how can man achieve his goals without making any effort?
extrafresh 13 / 31  
May 8, 2011   #7
More practice, better writing. Go ahead and try it again.


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