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International tourists arrival in five countries in 1995 and 2010


badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Nov 19, 2016   #1
The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

A breakdown of the proportion of information about international visitors in five countries between 1995 and 2010, it revealed in a line graph which it is measured in millions. Overall, it can be seen that there was a significant upward trend of tourist in Malaysia, France and USA, however, Brazil and Egypt witnessed a steady trend over the period.

Firstly, from 1995 to 2005 there was a variation upward trend in all countries. Malaysia experienced a dramatic increase in 2000, at 60. It was twice larger than previous year. While, USA raised sharply at 90 until 2005. In contrast, Brazil and Egypt stood at under ten.

According to the graph, in 2005 saw that there was a significant upward trend in all countries except USA. Brazil and Egypt visitors raised slightly at under 20 in 2010. Meanwhile, Malaysia and France tourists witnessed a sharp rise, at under 50 and under 90. In contrast, USA dropped slightly just few under 90 perspectively. (161w)




nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 19, 2016   #2
Hello Bada!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

A breakdown of the proportion of information ...
Proportion -> percentage
You should use "the number" since it measured in millions


Look at my suggestion below:
visitors in five countries between 1995 and 2010 measured by millions is revealed in a line graph.

Overall, it can be seen that there was a significant upward (...), France and USA, however, Brazil and Egypt ...
Firstly, from 1995 to 2005 there was a variation upward ...
Use punctuation correctly.
Look at my suggestion below:

Overall, it can be seen that, there was a significant ... H owever, Brazil and Egypt ...

Look at my suggestion below:
According to the graph, 2005 saw a significant upward trend ...

Hope it helps you :)


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