Question: It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion(Please access me)
In the past few decades, the internet has taken the prime seat of the communication, but on the other hand, there are people who believe that it is not the place where we can find the apt knowledge of a topic. I am in support of this view that it is a convenient place for finding the information, provided it is used wisely.
Initially, the ancient methods of communication were common among people. It was a tedious job and always relied on the point of view of a person who was considered to be knowledgeable . Also, people had limited needs so had little knowledge and so, there was no window of inventions and hence no information was required.
Due to limited time, everybody has started adopting the technology and learning a lot under a roof without wasting energy. Now e-books are also available where we can search as per the requirement. In India, the government has taken an initiative to connect every nook and corner of the country with a network through a program, DIGITAL INDIA.
Technology has its pros and cons also . There are lot of black cat hackers ,unethical hackers,who are intruding into other territories for spying which is unethical and is a big danger for countries. These can consequently lead to E-wars, for which countries are not ready. So, governments are investing in information security up to the level. There are a lot of job openings for the people working in the IT sector, which is indirectly resolving brain drain issue.
In the above essay, I have put my opinions and I strongly believe that we are progressing with the latest technology, provided we use it wisely.
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Shruti, you did not fully understand the discussion instructions that were provided to you. This essay has a very specific discussion process that should cover 3 complete body paragraphs. Let me show you the difference between the original directions and the direction for discussion that you used:
Original Discussion Instruction: Discuss both these views and give your opinion
Your Discussion Flow: I am in support of this view
Based on the variation in the way that you discussed the essay, your TA score will come in at a low score of 4. That rating is due to the selective manner that you chose to discuss the essay, completely disregarding the original instructions you were provided. The low score in the TA section plus the grammar issues, information presented, and use of English words tells me that you score will not be higher than the TA rating. You see, once you make a mistake in the TA section only 2 things can happen, either you get a low passing score or you fail the test completely. The correct flow of this discussion in the body would have been:
Body 2 - Opinion 1
Body 3 - Opinion 2
Body 3 - Personal point of view
The combined paragraph results totaling the required 5 paragraphs would have at least had the opportunity to get you a passing score. Based on the above topic provided, the method of your discussion, and the conclusion you wrote, it appears that you did not discuss the essay in any manner that is related to the actual topic provided.
There is a popular belief that the internet provides a good method of keeping in touch with one another. However, it does not really pass as an authoritative place to access information. In this essay, I will explain why these two points of view exist. Additionally, I will present my personal opinion on the given discussion towards the end.
In order to familiarize yourself with the different IELTS discussion styles, it would be best if you review the other sample essays here and read the advice provided. Doing so will not only help you understand the differences in writing methods for each essay type, but you will also learn how to avoid the mistakes others before you have made in their own practice tests. Thus helping you to perfect your writing style as well.