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IELTS Task 2: Internet excellence for communicating people and finding information


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jun 14, 2015   #1
It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not the best place to find information.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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The advance of information technology proliferates in 21st century. Due to its easiest access, some people use this kind of service to build strong communication while others use such media as the field source of accurate information. I am of the opinion that using internet to communicate will negate the distance as well as it can rid the barrier of accurate information.

Internet makes distance becoming nothing. As internet sophisticated service, connecting people between countries even continent become common and easy. Taking examples of G20 countries form of communication that widely helped by the service of internet. They can communicate, even held a formal conference, via Skype. This, then, actually reduces the loss of time efficiency of airway travel. However, the easiest communication by the internet may deficient people productivity as it is used for unnecessary chat.

On the other hand, staying awake on what was happening currently becomes people primary needs. People are tend to become update for the upcoming news because, with this way, they will keep on track in their main job. A business executive, for instance, will keep his eyes on the happening rate movement of stock exchange to make sure that he can get the valid information for taking his step on the business strategy on other company shareholder. Meanwhile, the abundance source of information could flood people by unnecessary information as they cannot filter which one is needed or not.

In conclusion, using internet as means of communication cannot be avoided become people primary need similar to its function on providing accurate information. In my opinion, internet with its excellence is an analogy of a knife. It can help people to cut the barrier or perhaps could bring some harm as it not use appropriately.

lightfox 3 / 27 24  
Jun 14, 2015   #2
Overall, not a bad essay. However, I feel like the last sentences of the second and third paragraph seem a bit off, and you need to find a better way to transition from the second paragraph to the third. Hope you incorporate your essay with my revisions.
juanmarman 3 / 6  
Jun 15, 2015   #3
Hi! I agree that you could have structured this in a different way. In my oppinion, you could blend the second paragraph (where you talk about the benefits) and then create a new one with the disadvantages (then, you could start with "on the other hand"), which you already introduced in your second paragraph with the sentence "However, the easiest communication by the internet may deficient people productivity as it is used for unnecessary chat". Other disadvantages could be the lack if reliability (i.e. Wikipedia) and security (i.e. hackers).
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Jun 15, 2015   #4
Hii... lightfox thank you for scrutinize my work. I am little bit confuse to start my second body paragraph. Let me explain on why I put "on the other hand". I would like to make transition to make another idea. Particularly, I would like to start the counter fact providing in prompt about internet as the source of information.

By this way, you give a good solution on putting "Also". Thank you

Other disadvantages could be the lack if reliability (i.e. Wikipedia) and security (i.e. hackers).

Juan, Yap, in the beginning I made my mind map, I also consider to do as your suggestion, but the prompt just ask me to discuss not to differentiate which one has good benefit over other. So, I try this way :)

many thanks to give me different perspective in answering IELTS task 2.
tuananh 8 / 15  
Jun 28, 2015   #5
I have some small suggestions:
it can rid the barrier of accurate information. => It can blur away the border of accurate information.
the last sentence of the conclusion sounds a bit confusing to me.
It can help people tocut the barrier or perhaps could bring some harm as it not use appropriately.
=> It enables people to enclose the gap between distances and information's sphere of transferring or perhaps can bring side effects if it is over used inappropriately.

Hope it would somehow help!
Adhisti 20 / 19 2  
Jun 28, 2015   #6
Let me help you to work with the first body paragraph regarding to

IqbalThemi

Without a doubt, the internet technology is the best form of transformed communication since it renders high-speed access to an enormous amount of international information. Skype application, for instance, enables people to interact with others across the whole world. They can make a conversation face to face directly via webcam. As an inevitable result, the internet facilitates human beings to meet their necessities in communication aspect.
aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Jul 1, 2015   #7
Hello Adhisti, let me continue your body paragraph with regard to the Internet communication.

Adhisti

Admittedly, a particular dire consequences in the international computer network is that an immense information or article posted on the website have been out-dated since the authors are anonymous and they never update the information to be nove concept. To demonstrate, people should be extremely cautious about using Wikipedia as the text which is available on the website is written by unknown people and the expertise is not taken into consideration. As the facts appeared the published article in the Wikipedia have been altered, the information is not accurate anymore and could not be harnessed for academic sources. As a consequence, the Internet is not the right way in order to acquire the reliable sources.


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