Task II : Internet, the most significant invention in the last 30 years

hello all... We meet again in my writing task II... hehehe..
my teacher ask to finish it in 40 minutes and made introduction in 2 sentences.
Give me advice or anything that will improve my writing skill. Thanks a lot :)

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different..
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Nowadays, many inventions created by human in the world such as internet in the last 30 years ago. I agree that internet gives a lot of information but I disagree when internet can immorality throughout many people.

I argue the internet was very successful invention by human. Without it, maybe our lives would be completely different. Internet also can help human to communicate each other around the world. For example, people can make video call when they live so far from their family. All of ages can do this it means they still had closed relation with their relatives though they are not together.

In the other hand, I dislike internet when it gives much bad entertainments. There are games, bad movies, and bad information. For instance, in my country met young adult and children play with internet. In my view, internet is not good affect for young people because it will disturb their mind if they cannot control life. In the modern era, many bad people have used internet for the worst thing such pedhopil looking for teenagers or children just for having fun of sex. The children will get the impact of internet which they meet new person and have a good relation though they never knew before.

In conclusion, I agree that internet will be useful if people can use it in the right way. Parents have to pay attention when their children play by internet. It will not be the worst thing because human have known internet since then.

This sentence lacks clarity and it sounds incomplete. You need to improve its presentation;
During the last thirty years there had been many important technological inventions. (hook) Some people view that the Internet had been the most significant invention out of all of such inventions and without it our lives would take a very different shape (background). I , however, disagree with this view for several reasons. (opinoion)

Hai apsari, hook is a general statement regarding the topic and background means paraphrasing the question.

Try to avoid repeating words such as I agree and I think on the other hand instead of in the other hand.

Yes, ammus1 is right about the hook. It is the opening statement that provides a good entrance to your essay. However, why we call it a hook is that it should be able to hook the reader towards your writing. In other words, it should be catchy, interesting, meaningful and relevant to the topic. So, ideally a hook should not be a very long sentence (shorter the better) and should give a stunning start to your essay. If you do not get a very clever idea at once when you begin to write your essay, start with the background section which is easier because all what you've got to do is to paraphrase the prompt. Once you finish the task, you can insert a hook if you've got some more time left :D

Well, this is what a hook - An essay's 'hook' is the wording in the first paragraph that attracts the reader and makes them want to continue to read.

So, this is not really paraphrasing the prompt. It is some interesting idea said in a very exciting manner so that it would instantly impress your reader about your writing skills. However, the hook should be meaningful and relevant to your topic and would arrange a good entrance to your essay. If this sounds like a bit difficult task, as Pahan suggests, begin with the second part , the background which is much easier to do. Background you can do by paraphrasing the prompt.