The journey from a fresh salmon and potatoes into the Frozen Fish Pie ___ IELTS Task 1

The diagrams illustrate the manufacturing process in the frozen fish pie company. Overall, it can be seen that there are two steps for making these pies such as producing potatoes and fresh salmon.

To begin with the first stage, the potatoes are delivered up to one month. Firstly, they must be entered the cleaning machine before coming into the feeling engine to waste disposal. Secondly, the potatoes are sliced to be boiled in the next machine. Moreover, they are added by chili and sent to the store. Here, the potato's batter is run into the another engine to get the farther process.

Moving to the second stage, it needs 12 hours or less to deliver fresh salmon. Firstly, tones of fresh salmons are given lemon juice and salt before going into the steam oven. Furthermore, the skin and bones will be removed by the workers to waste disposal and this way is watched by an inspector. After that, the salmons are added with peas and sauce. Secondly, the salmon's batter is blended together with potatoes in the mixer machine. In the end of process, the products are wrapped and frozen, and then they all are collected in the storage before dispatched to the retailers.

• 
  Task1.JPG
  

This is a big improvement from the last one! For text that explains a diagram, keep the language simple and explanatory. "Flowery" language is great in story-telling essays, but for something like this that describes how a process works or for a research/science essay, keep it simple. Hopefully the following edits help:

The diagrams illustrate the manufacturing process in the frozen fish pie company. Overall, it can be seen thatT here are two steps for making these pies:producingpreparing potatoes and fresh salmon.

"the" in this sentence would be used if you will be including the name of the company, otherwise use "a" instead.

"producing" implies that the company that is cleaning/slicing/boiling the potatoes also grew them. If this is true, include a sentence about it. If the company did not grow the potatoes, then simply changing it to "preparing" will suffice.

To begin with the first stage , the potatoes are delivered up to one month. Firstly , they must be entered theare placed in the cleaning machine before comingbeing placed into the feeling engine to waste disposal. Secondly , the potatoes are sliced and thento be boiled in the next machine. MoreoverFinally , they are added by chilichili is added and they are sent to the store . Here, the potato's batter is runmade into the another enginemachine to get the fartherthem ready for the next process.

"up to one month" -- what does this mean? Does it mean that they were delivered a month prior to being prepared? Or does it take a month for processing the potatoes until they are done?

"feeling engine" -- what is this? Was it suppose to be a "feeding engine" or something else like scrubbing?
"store" -- this word makes me think that it is sent out of the factory to a store to be sold, did you mean it gets sent to another company or factory to be battered?

Moving toT he second stage, it needs 12 hours or less to deliver fresh salmon. Firstly , tone s of fresh salmons are given lemon juice and salt before going into the steam oven. Furthermore, tT he skin and bones will beare then removed by the workersby handin to a waste disposalunder supervision.and this way is watched by an inspector. After that, peas and sauce are added with the salmonsare added with peas and sauce . Secondly , the salmon's battermixture is blended together with potatoes in the mixer machine. In the end of process , the products are wrapped,and frozen, and then they all areare all collected in the storage beforeand dispatched to the retailers.

"deliver" -- I'm not sure what you mean in this sentence. Try re-wording for clarification? Does it TAKE 12 hours for the salmon to get from where they are harvested to the factory? Why does it "need" 12 hours but then possibly "less" than 12 hours? To do what?

"salmon" is both used as the singular and plural form

Keep up the great work!