Effects of Internet on Youth
Technological development in modern communication era have give positive and negative effect.
certainly, this condition do not need government attention and active participation of parents to overcome some effect caused by modern technological development especially in the world telecommunication
we often find various advance resulted from our effort to overcome some information of science. but, we often find the youth moral decadence as effect of bad habits to access the wrong sites
Rizka, since you are only asking for grammar correction, I will be instructing you on how to correct the mistakes that you made in the presentation. You can personally apply the corrections to your essay instead. In the first sentence, remove the word "give" and replace it "a". In the second line, capitalize the first word of the sentence as instructed by English grammar rules. Remove the run-on sentence by creating 2 more sentences that refer to the "government attention" and "parent participation". Don't forget to add the period at the end of the last sentence. The current version is missing a period at the end. In the last line, you have the same capitalization errors. Additionally, you cannot start a sentence with the word but. So you have to either use a comma after the word "science" or, revise the sentence structure to have a period after the word "science" and then use a replacement word for but like "However". Same deal, it is missing a period at the end of the presentation.
This sounds like a badly discussed and developed TOEFL essay prompt to me. Since you are not asking for a review of the work though and you only want to focus on grammar correction, then that is all I presented to you in this review.