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Key issues to make city become better!


prettybear94 3 / 7  
Aug 18, 2011   #1
What do you suggest are the key issues which needed to be considered to make cities better to live in for the future?

I often imagine a city where people can live their dreams, where their creative power and motivation are without boundary, and where people can obtain more knowledge about everything in life. Moreover, it is the place where citizens are happy with a clean, safe and green (healthy) environment in company with generous budgets and good services ... Thus, in my opinion, to make city become better, we need concentrate more on finance and environment.

Nowadays, every city all over the world expresses deep concerns over environmental issue greatly. Environment is being heavily exploited rapidly by human beings for satisfying their needs such as: wood for houses, animals for food, rare plants for cure... Specifically, global warming is due to greenhouse gases, ozone depletion, exhaust fumes from automobiles, waste water disposal or pollution is caused by sewage system, lack of people's awareness... As a result, the weather has changed and caused many disasters such as earthquake, floods, drought, Tsunami ... that can cause everyone homeless, hapless and miserable. Furthermore, environmental issue certainly makes threats to human such as lack of sleep, illness, weak resistance to disease, serious stress symptoms, and especially dissatisfaction resulting from noise which even ranks higher than crime and traffic. Global warming or any sufficiently warm area keeping insects alive even in dreary winter is one way to spread diseases. I suggest that the authority should ban more effectively, form various regulations, policies to reduce such issues to minimum. As a result, the more healthy environment is, the more excellent health is. Secondly, the clean environment can attract foreign investment and visit. Thus, the economic develops considerably. Thirdly, that citizens would appreciate the authority's concern to the environment helps that city exist longer.

Besides environment, like blood in our body, finance is necessary to make city become better. According to Wikipedia, finance includes saving money and often includes lending money. It shows clearly through the state budget is a tool to adjust socio-economic background, orient production development, regulate market, stabilize prices and adjust socio life. Cites should be more creative and flexible in their strategic financial development in conformity with growing demands on budgets and diminishing revenue bases. Citizens may demand a better service but unwilling to pay more for them. So the government must perceive whether that service is good or must be altered. If it is good, try to persuade citizens to understand their financial benefits. In addition, the government can encourage public companies to cooperate with the private sector to fund the provision of services and infrastructure in innovative ways. With a healthy finance, that the authority is able to reduce taxes make citizens' living standards gradually improve. Furthermore, the authority can concentrate more on hospitals, educations, decrease good prices, increase defence expenditure, and not depend on foreign aid. In brief, that the eco-socio develops firmly builds an independent, democratic, prosperous and powerful city.

In conclusion, making city become better is depend not only on the government but also the individual consciousness of each citizen. I have long desired that if one day I were a city leader, I would change my own city into my dreaming city with these keys issues.

beepro21 15 / 22  
Aug 19, 2011   #2
Hi!
I can see your rich vocabulary and ideas in the writing but there are some pionts that you should take into considerations.
1. Grammar
wordiness:live their dreams->realize their dreams
creation -> creative power
clean , green, safe->( repetition in meaning) healthy
seek to ban more effectively-> seek effective solutions
innovate ways->innovative ways
conditional sentence:...if one day I were..., I will change
2. coherence and cohesion : you spend so much time on environment issues instead of suggesting practical measures to improve current environment in a city. About finance issues, I think you writing is quite good. If you have another paragraph of education issues , your writing will be more well-structured and fulfill task requirements.

your score:6
Icecreamquest 6 / 15  
Aug 25, 2011   #3
Diversity in your vocabularies, learn more from your writing.

But could you mind change some "citizens" to "residents" or other words? That would be better.

In conclusion, making city become better is depend not only on the government but also the individual consciousness of each citizen.

I will use "depent" or "based".

Actually , your writing has been quite wonderful. Have a nice day!


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